A Year Between
by Rose of the West
Summary: It's the greatest day in history, but a man sits weeping under a willow tree. A woman offers comfort and friendship and eventually much more as the world returns to normal. Somewhat compliant to cannon with one major AU change.
1. Under the Willow Tree

_Disclaimer: Barbara is my own invention, but the other main characters and the situation in which they find themselves were created by JKR. I have taken great liberty also in making one glaring difference to the story._

Barbara smiled in delight at the celebrations going on around her. It had been a hard night and the battle was well won. The boy who saved it all was in the center of it all, with people milling around as though he were the center of a giant storm.

While she was a part of the celebration, it wasn't really her thing. She slipped out of the great room and out of the castle, walking carefully through the rubble of last night's battle and into the breaking day. She was standing over the lake, breathing in the morning air and just enjoying the moment when she heard the sound of great sadness. Over by the willow tree a man was sitting and weeping as though his heart were thoroughly broken.

At any other time, she would have left the man alone, but today was not an ordinary day. She sat next to him and put her hand on his sleeve. "I'm so sorry for your losses."

He said, "My greatest loss is myself. Everything I've lived for is now over and I don't know how to go on." As he turned his head, she saw dark, shoulder length hair, a pronounced nose and then the empty, lost eyes of Severus Snape.

"Professor Severus Snape! Voldemort said you were dead! What...?"

"I _was_ mostly dead. That beastly snake...I gave Potter my thoughts to look at in Dumbledore's pensieve and...er...well then Draco Malfoy came along. He must have found the path under the willow, here. He definitely found the potion of dittany and phoenix tears I was carrying. My own formulation, you see."

"I'm well familiar with your work, Professor Snape. I'm Barbara Merrill, of the Quality Testing dungeon."

He did know the name. He looked her over. "How nice to meet you... Mrs?"

"Miss"

"How nice to meet you in person, Miss Merrill."

"You were saying about Draco Malfoy..."

"He used the potion to cure the bites on my throat, here, and when I was able to sit up, I sent him away to find his parents. Then I made my way through the tunnel to here. I saw the flashes of light and heard the cheering and knew everything was well."

"You are fortunate to have the affection of your students. Harry Potter was telling all the things you've done against Voldemort. You must be Mr. Potter's favorite teacher."

Snape almost laughed. "You could hardly consider our relationship up to date to be friendly. I have, unfortunately, given that boy a great deal of my mind, which he has no doubt published to the skies, but it was all I could think to do. Now, I've lost my Lily, his mother, for good this time. Everything I've done is for her and now she doesn't need me so I don't know how to go on."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

A long sigh next to her was followed by silence. She waited. "I might as well start at the beginning. I'm sure various versions of my story will show up in all the papers. I met Lily just about 30 years ago. She was perfect and my life was less than so. Far less than so. She was muggle-born, playing with her muggle sister, but she could do magic. You remember how as children, it just comes out sometimes?" Barbara nodded. "Her sister called her a freak when the magic came out. I introduced myself and we became friends. I convinced her that she wasn't a freak and we started to plan our futures. My life at home was horrible, and she was the one good thing I ever had.

"We were in the same class here at Hogwarts, but separated at sorting. She went to Griffindor and I to Slytherin. James Potter dogged her steps from the day we arrived and she hated it. But then, I don't know exactly when it happened... sometime during fifth year, but she stopped hating him so much. She and I had a terrible falling out after we took our OWLs and by the time we graduated, those two were inseparable.

"I couldn't stop loving her, just because she loved someone else. I had been interested in the Death Eaters before but now I turned to them in earnest. I have certain -- skills – for which Lord Voldemort had use.

"I made myself invaluable to the Dark Lord on the day I overheard that a child was to be born that would destroy Voldemort forever. I just never realized that it meant the murder of Lily Evans and the intensification of my own personal torture. I, I..."

Barbara thought he would start to weep again, but after a few minutes he sighed and continued.

"Albus Dumbledore asked me to work with him against Voldemort and I have from that time. The things I've had to do. Each time I had to do something awful, I've tried to do it in such a way that it was at least better than it might have been, and I've tried to find ways to keep worse things from happening. My skills as an occlumens were put to the test often, but I was able to put my love for Lily where he could never find it. Today, though, I don't know what to do any more. Voldemort is gone, my Lily is gone in a way she never was before...I couldn't be with her before and if I had gone on I couldn't be with her now...I love her so much but now it's all changing..." Another memory hit him. "I killed him you know...Dumbledore"

She had heard it, of course, and it _was_ a bit awful, but there was so much pain in his eyes that she put her hand on his arm again and quietly said, "Tell me."

"He was dying. I don't know what he was doing, but he was searching for certain objects. He summoned me to his office one night where he was sitting at his desk. There was a horrible object on the desk in front of him...a ring he had put on, cursed with some of the worst magic possible. He should have known, but there had been some connection to his youth...impetuous. I did all I could but I could only force the spell back into the hand. I couldn't remove it and could only notice it getting worse over the course of the next year.

"Voldemort gave Draco Malfoy the task of killing Dumbledore. Narcissa begged me to fix it. She put me under the unbreakable vow. She didn't realize that Dumbledore had already determined that I would end his life when the time was right.

"That night on the tower...I don't know what he had been doing. Something with that Potter boy, but whatever it was allowed the poisonous spell to move all through his body. Albus had only minutes, perhaps an hour left. Draco had disarmed him, and Death Eaters were coming up the steps. Albus gave me our pre-arranged signal, and...and...I did it. Then I made sure the boys were ok and left as quickly as I could. I barely got away before I was sick. How I hated myself! I still think...there must have been a way..." He looked at her. "I've done other terrible things, too."

"Weren't there orders from both sides for this to happen? Did you not work your hardest to keep the worst from happening?"

"I sent Potter to his death, too, didn't I? He had to die so that Voldemort could be destroyed."

"When I arrived, they were carrying his body from the forest..."

"So I did that, too."

"No, wait! I'm not sure what happened, but just as the worst was happening in the great hall, suddenly we were all protected from the Death Eaters and were winning the battle and then, he was there...Harry Potter! And he told us how all of the things you did for Voldemort were because Dumbledore and also Lily...well, actually he told Voldemort, and then suddenly it was all over. Harry's alive, and Voldemort is dead."

An even longer silence ensued. He looked at the witch sitting next to him. She had such an open face. Brown hair and eyes, not beautiful, but somehow sweet and friendly. He collected himself. "What brings you here, today?"

Barbara took a breath, hid a shudder, and then paused. "I'm not sure, really. I just wanted to be helpful, maybe? Do you remember, last, fall, when Harry Potter, Hermione Grainger, and Ron Weasley broke up the meeting investigating muggle borns?" A raised eyebrow, a nod. "Well, you're talking to the daughter of two Chemists from Manchester. I was one of the subjects of that investigation. I'm sure those kids saved my life that day. I made my parents transfer to a lab in Basel and worked with them there in the muggle world. I've been looking for a way to come back and help the fight ever since. So when a friend contacted me about the coming battle at Hogwarts, I got here as quick as I could."

"So why aren't you participating in the celebration?" He had regained his composure enough to sound as though he had found a student ditching class.

"I know I should be, but I don't really have any one in there. It's a time for close friends and family and while there are many up there I consider to be friendly, I don't wish to intrude."

They watched the sun rise a little higher. The birds finished their morning song and the bees started to hum.

He remembered his loss and slumped again. "So what happens next? How do we...go on? Now that it's over, my love is gone, my mentor is gone, my great purpose is complete. What happens, next?"

"Severus...I'm going to be forward and call you by first name...I think we do exactly that. We go on. This is a time of mercy. Most of us will have something to forgive and also something to apologize for. Is it possible that some of your love for Lily was because she was the one person who understood you and was kind to you. Others, now that we know what you've been doing, will want to be kind to you, too. I'm sure you have many friends you don't yet know."

"I doubt that. Surely you know what others have said about me?"

"Well, actually, one doesn't hear a lot in the Ministry dungeon, you know. As a muggle-born, I didn't have many friends, of course. As a scientist, all I knew of you was your brilliant mind, that so cleverly worked out complicated problems practically before my eyes. It would have been unscientific to jump to conclusions based upon office gossip. I prefer to get information from direct sources."

He almost laughed. She had said that very thing in one of her letters to him over a year ago. "I'm a direct source and I can tell you I've done some horrible things."

She shifted uneasily. "Erm...not to bring up a sore point, but you aren't going to try to curse me or anything because I'm muggle-born, are you?"

He waved his hand dismissively. "I've learned to ignore such things, although I had to repeat them in order to have credibility with the Death Eaters."

"That's a relief." She straightened up. "It's a new day, Severus. If a former muggle can sit discussing life issues with a former Death Eater, anything is possible. I tell you what _I'm_ going to do. Tomorrow I'm going to go back to work, if they'll have me, and do my job even better than I did before. I'm going to become a better person and take full advantage of the life I have, so that this battle will have _won_ something. I probably won't make any large changes, but after a lot of small ones, I hope to see a large change. I think that's what you should do, too. Aren't you the faculty head of Slytherin House? Shouldn't you be up there offering comfort and assistance? Right now, I'm off to help my housemates in Ravenclaw, if I can."

She stood, patted his shoulder, and suddenly leaned down and kissed his cheek. "Farewell, Severus Snape. I look forward to continuing our correspondence, now that I know you."

As she hurried to return to the castle, she heard "As do I. Farewell, Barbara," but she didn't see the fresh tears on his face.

He touched his cheek where she kissed him. It wasn't much really, but other than a few weak kisses from his mother, no woman had ever kissed him. She was right about going to help. He had promised Albus Dumbledore that he would look after the students. There was something he should be doing right now. He got up and followed Barbara to the castle.

_A/N: Well there are a few things one could flame me about, but I think they stack up to differences of opinion. The idea for this story sprung from one I read elsewhere and suddenly I was completely lost in the lives of these characters. Is it worth pursuing? Is it completely foolish? Feel free to review and let me know._


	2. Reclaiming the Future

_Disclaimer: This is mostly the people and place of JKR's making, of course, behaving as I picture they might during the days immediately after such horror and joy. Again, Barbara is a character I made up._

The Great Hall was still full of students and families, laughing, crying and just being together. There weren't many Slytherins, but he headed toward them.

"Professor Snape!"

"He didn't die after all!"

"Brilliant!"

The whispers and comments circled around him, but he went directly to where there was a small knot of Slytherins without parents.

"How is everyone? Do you need any medical assistance?" He looked the students over carefully. Those who had been injured were already cared for. "Have you eaten?" They all nodded. "Let me find out if you can go to your rooms. I'm sure you would like to clean up and get some rest."

He turned to see Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, and Trelawney, as well as Madam Pomfrey facing him. "Minerva --"

"Severus! I had just heard whispers... thank goodness. We've lost so much." She cast a watery gaze around the room. "First of all, Severus, are you injured?"

"It's taken care of...Minerva--"

"Second of all, we've been told a few things by Harry Potter and I'm sure there are questions we all want answers to, but I think we, at least, are satisfied that you were always doing what Albus told you to do and that you had the school's best interests at heart. Is that true?"

"I gave my allegiance to Albus Dumbledore seventeen years ago and have worked for the good of this school since I first entered its doors. Minerva...all of you...I'm sorry for the things I've done, especially the quarrels that were unnecessary to the work we were doing."

"We understand, Severus. If it comes to that, we've quarreled with you unnecessarily, too, particularly last night when we might have worked together and prevented much loss." The other professors nodded and agreed.

Severus remembered his uppermost concern. "Can the children go back to their rooms?"

She nodded to him. "The castle has sustained a great deal of damage, but Hufflepuff and Slytherin, of course, are essentially untouched. Ravenclaw and Griffindor towers, unfortunately...those giants..." She shook her head. "Yes, you may send your house back to their rooms. Perhaps they would be willing to share with Ravenclaw? We'll send Griffindor with Hufflepuff."

He nodded and turned to speak with his house.

"Oh, Severus?" He turned back. "After you get the children settled, can you come to the headmaster's office? We need to discuss what happens next at the school, if you're agreeable."

"Of course, Minerva. I need to come up there to...collect my thoughts...anyhow."

Having fewer students to look after, he spent a few minutes watching the Ravenclaw students moving toward the Slytherin door. He watched Barbara Merrill working with the children, offering a smile here and a tear there. She noticed him looking at her and winked a wet eye.

xxxxx

He arrived in the Headmaster's office before anyone else. He was surprised to see that it was still his own office. Albus Dumbledore and all the previous headmasters were snoring quietly in their frames after a long night. The pensieve was sitting on his desk. He removed his memories from it and returned them to his own mind. Looking around, he realized others of his own things were all over the office. So he started to clean up, packing as he went along.

Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up next. "Clearing out? I would have expected you to stay on as headmaster."

Professor Snape twisted his face. "I think not. It should be Minerva. She's been the Deputy Headmistress for as long as I've been on the faculty, even when I was named headmaster under... dubious circumstances. Are you next Minister?"

Kingsley waved his hand dismissively. "It's far too soon to say. I will work with the provisional Ministry, certainly, and then see what way I can help best. For example, Minerva wanted me in on this conversation as a member of the Board of Governors."

"I see that as my position here at Hogwarts, as well."

Minerva walked in. Both men stood. "Welcome, Headmistress."

She blanched. "You know it's not official. The Board hasn't met, of course. Most are here at the school, though, and I would like the three of us to have recommendations ready for when they do meet. First though, Severus, I have to know, despite what I said in the Hall. What happened a year ago on the astronomy tower?"

As much as he dreaded it, it would be a relief. "I don't know what Harry told you, but Dumbledore was dying. He'd run across an evil spell a year before and wanted me to kill him rather than one of the students--"

"Draco Malfoy?" There was acid in Minerva's voice.

"Well, yes. Don't—Minerva, the boy's heart was never in the task, and I think he will have changed his mind about many things, now. Don't punish him, please. Anyhow, it was clear that Albus had run across more evil magic that night and that his end was near, regardless. He gave me a signal that he wanted me to do it, then, and with Death Eaters coming up the stairs and onto the tower, I just did. I know that none of you will forgive me..."

"It's exactly as he says, Minerva." She turned and looked into the eyes of Headmaster Dumbledore's portrait for a long moment.

Minerva McGonagall sighed and reluctantly smiled. "If Albus, himself, forgives you, the rest of us can do no less."

Kingsley said, "I think the inquiry will arrive at a similar conclusion. If it even opens again. We each had roles to play during the war. Each of which had its moments of being, shall we say, unpleasant?" The three looked at each other and then away.

"Then we won't discuss those misunderstandings any further today. Getting down to business, here's where things stand: The children are settled for the next day or so. Many parents are here, as well as other members of our community. The Hogwarts Express can start to take families home tomorrow morning and children who are traveling by themselves at the end of the week. We, we have..." She started to break down, caught herself. "There are orphans among us, now. We need to contact families who will take the children in, at least temporarily, and make arrangements for burials."

"And," regaining composure. "We need to decide how to proceed with the educations of those affected by the events of the past year. The fifth, sixth, and seventh years, especially, may need intensive tutoring to complete the coursework for their OWLs and NEWTs. All in the midst of reconstructing our home, here." Professor McGonagall was all business now. "Gentlemen, here's what I propose..."

xxxxx

One week later, Professor Severus Snape was sitting at his accustomed place at the faculty dining table, looking around the Great Hall with hooded eyes. It was so normal and yet not. It was the beginning of a summer term. Part of the hall was roped off while the staff pondered the effects of the magic in that area. Instead of long house tables, they were arranged in a circle under a banner that incorporated those of all four houses. Professor McGonagall was speaking.

"Welcome to the first ever summer term here at Hogwarts. You have returned here to make up the work that you have missed due to the war, and perhaps to unlearn some badly taught lessons." She cast her well known acerbic look around the room and the students shuffled in their seats.

"As you know, Ravenclaw and Griffindor are closed for now. We hope to reopen them for the fall term. Therefore, we have only Hufflepuff and Slytherin Houses in which to live. Therefore again, we will NOT separate into houses for this term. Girls will live in Hufflepuff and boys in Slytherin" She lifted her goblet of pumpkin juice. "Hogwarts, all!"

Everyone followed suit. "HOGWARTS, ALL!"

"If, however," McGonagall continued, "you wish to separate into houses just to play a small tournament of Quidditch..." On any other face the look would have been called a smirk. The students responded with a cheer.

Professor McGonagall got to more serious matters. "Those of you who should have been preparing for OWLs and NEWTs will take, first thing tomorrow, a preliminary test to see where your greatest academic needs lie, after which you will meet with your faculty advisors and map out your summer course load. Sixth years, since you will not be taking the preliminary tests, will meet with your advisors tomorrow. Some of you may even need to do advanced coursework during the regular school year. In this way we hope to graduate both this past year's seventh year class and this coming year's, next spring.

"For the rest of tonight, though, I give you an opportunity to renew your friendships and directions to forge new ones. Let us also remember the dear ones who are gone forever." A moment of silence filled the room. She lifted her glass again. "To our separated friends." Again, everyone in the room followed suit.

"Now, as a dear late headmaster would say at this time, '_Tuck in_.'"

_A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read this. I have enjoyed the reviews that have come and would be delighted with further ones. After WWII, many of the young men who came back to America at least, went back to their colleges and universities and picked up their classes as quickly as possible. From what I've been told as a grandchild of that generation, it has always seemed to me that the schools had really reached out to assist their students and rebuild the better world. My thinking of how Hogwarts handled this similar situation was influenced by that bit of history._


	3. Collegial Correspondence

_Disclaimer: Professor Snape and everyone at Hogwarts were created by JKR. Barbara Merrill and her lab are my invention, set within JKR's Ministry of Magic._

Breakfast the next morning came with a letter on Ministry stationery. No, one page was official Ministry business while the other looked personal. He started with the Ministry letter.

_Professor Snape:_

_This is to inform you that your healing potion with dittany and phoenix tears has been received by the Quality Testing dungeon and will be assessed for purity, effectiveness, and consumer safety. After this testing is complete, your potion will be registered and your registry number filed._

_If there are any questions, you may forward them to this office, to my attention._

_Sincerely,_

_Barbara Merrill  
__Head Specialist  
__Quality Testing_

It was the standard letter he had seen dozens of times. He turned to the other page.

_Dear Professor Snape,_

_As you can see, I'm back in the Quality Testing dungeon. Having seen the effects of your potion in person, I decided to find it in our back log and move it to the head of the queue. Rather, I found your application and recipe for it; the sample you sent appears to have been destroyed during some altercation that happened here the night Rufus Scrimgeour was killed. Would it be possible to send me another small sample? The protocol demands that I make a batch and match it to the sample before testing the uses._

_I hope life at Hogwarts is progressing as well as possible under the circumstances. The Ministry is undergoing restorations, too. I actually got to help. That ghastly sculpture in the atrium was built and fixed in place with horrible spells, but I remembered a cleaning potion sent years ago and we tried it. It didn't work by itself, but when combined with a certain charm, a surprisingly small amount of potion converted the sculpture into a gravel which could be taken away. That material is too heavily infused with dark magic to use any time soon, I'm afraid, but at least the Ministry can erect a new sculpture more in keeping with what we know is right and good._

_This may lead to a new avenue of research. Surely you know this potion to be your own. Would you be interested in testing your cleaning potion with other charms to see how it works? I think we could co-author quite a paper on this. _Journal of the Potions Society_ is alreay clamoring for submissions._

_Otherwise the Ministry is behaving as one could expect. There is, of course, a large contingent of people pushing to have Kingsley Shacklebolt as the new Minister, but there's also a large contingent of Pius Thickness friends and supporters who are trying to keep power. Kingsley is having quite a time of it, with trying to reconstruct the auror department, too._

_The auror department is quite understaffed and the department of Magical Law Enforcement is working overtime. Apparently some folk think they deserve a time of lawlessness. I find such an attitude distressing, myself. After seeing the Great Hall after the battle of Hogwarts and the Ministry the night Rufus was killed, lawlessness seems such a horrible waste of our efforts._

_Then again, Ministry is not _quite_ what one would expect. It's not uncommon, now, to find groups of people weeping together in hallways, or to discover upon walking into someone's office that the person I wanted to speak with is gone forever. _

_I want to apologize for being so utterly forward under the willow tree. I usually try to keep my thoughts to myself, since other people's business is not mine. I hope that you will chalk it up to the emotions of the day._

_I've now read several versions of your story in the _Daily Prophet_, and, I confess, the _Quibbler_. It seems the papers cannot decide if you were a tragic dark hero who was misunderstood or if you're still pulling the wool over our eyes. I suspect that even if I hadn't met you under the willow tree I would have thought the stories were all foolish. Having met you, I can say that I do see your actions as heroic, but how well understood they will be lies to some extent with you. Oh, dear, I am probably being as forward now as I was on that day. I hope you will forgive me._

_I look forward to continuing our collaborations._

_Sincerely,  
__Barbara Merrill_

xxxxx

_Dear Miss Merrill,_

_I was delighted to receive your letter, if only because it gives me something to do while keeping a stern eye on the vacuous looks of students taking preliminary OWLs and NEWTs. Truly, I found the whole charming and look forward to truly enjoying a correspondence which heretofore has been merely gratifying to my professional pride._

_First things first. Enclosed you will find a sample of my healing potion. If you need a larger sample, please let me know. In the enclosed notes, you will find that I would like to explore another use for this potion and I would appreciate having a trained eye look those notes over. I also would benefit from the use of certain resources at your dungeon. If it does what I hope, we can co-author that paper as well._

_Which brings me to the second point. I would be delighted in exploring the uses of charms applied with potions. I'm no seer, but I will predict a long and useful collaboration and several co-authored papers. I have enclosed some notes about avenues I think we could pursue._

_Coming to our conversation under the willow tree: No, you were not overly forward. I am not used to such personal conversation, but as you say, it was and continues to be a special event. What I don't understand is how you can be so genuinely open with me. Around here, It's a different world, and yet the same. Colleagues and students alike behave half the time as if they were scared to death of me and the other half as though they despise me. No, that is not true. Sometimes, they seem to be trying ways to be kind to me and then I do not know how to respond. Not half an hour after you and I parted, a colleague apologized to me! I am finding that there is comfort in some of the old routines yet I am in a world that is new to me. The old patterns of thought will not work._

_The routines as Hogwarts are so deeply entrenched that we have a framework upon which to make great progress. The students who missed so much of the last term are here to regain some lost time. I was surprised that Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger decided to stay. I would have expected them to be excused from this, but they insisted on taking NEWTs like everyone else. I never saw such modesty in young Potter. I will be teaching advanced seminars in potions, of course, and also Defense Against the Dark Arts. The Board of Governors now thinks I have skills in that line that were under taught in the past. One would hope those skills are not needed for a long time, but as Mad-eye Moody would say, "Constant vigilance"._

_The building and grounds are starting to regain their normal shape due to much hard work, but the inside restorations have not yet begun. Not that we shall let the students on the grounds without careful supervision. Hagrid has only started to collect certain creatures back into their pens and cages. And while the grounds look more their proper selves, there are trees and other plants that were completely destroyed during the battle and places here that will never look the same during my lifetime._

_May I congratulate you on what would appear to be a promotion? Best wishes to you also, as you no doubt are entering a task of cleaning up the lab, there. I suspect that some of your fellow employees are no brighter than when they were in my fifth year class, here._

_I see that the first groups of students are ready for their practicals, so I will close for now._

_I look forward to hearing from you._

_Sincerely,  
__Severus Snape_

Professor Snape looked up from the signature he put on the letter and rolled it up, sliding it inside his robe and casting a suspicious glare around the room. The students who thought they had seen a kind look in his eyes decided they were mistaken. He fixed his usual stare onto his first victim.

"Well, Hughes, shall we see if you can remember how to transform this handkerchief into a butterfly without setting the thing on fire?"

xxxxx

Two weeks later, Severus received another letter:

_Professor Snape:_

_Enclosed you will find the registry number for your healing potion. After testing we find that it is prepared and behaves just as described in your registry application._

_We appreciate the opportunity to work with our researching wizards and look forward to future accomplishments from your dungeon._

_Sincerely,_

_Barbara Merrill  
__Head Specialist  
__Quality Testing_

Again she had sent a more personal note:

_Dear Professor Snape,_

_I think the other use of that potion described in your notes is a wonderful idea. I'm sure it will be well received. Unfortunately, neither of the formulations you have sent work, yet, but you can refer to my notes and perhaps see where to take it next. Our other work has its ups and downs, as you can see from my notes. I think we might have the first paper ready by the time the regular school term will start, if that is agreeable to you. I have enclosed a first draft, if you wouldn't mind looking through it for me. Please be kind; I haven't written a paper in ages, due to, well you know._

_You are quite observant. Yes, when I came back, they actually promoted me. Now I have all the headaches of working with some very bright potions makers as well as some who hear your name in conversation and get a look of startled rabbits in their faces. Were you aware that you have that effect upon some people? _

_Meanwhile, I'm up to the collar of my dungeon robe in budgets and employee actions and what not. I'm starting to suspect that I am not cut out to be a bureaucrat. I'm not sure that I'm sad, but it does make the career outlook a bit bleak. I'm going to do my best, though. Perhaps my present destiny is to convert this place of uninspired potions mixers and dingy work spaces into a first rate dungeon._

_As you will have read in _TheProphet_, Kingsley Shacklebolt was finally made our new minister. What _TheProphet_ didn't say was that the Thicknesse promoters finally subsided, helped no doubt by Arthur and Percy Weasley opening certain investigations into the recent spate of lawlessness._

_How go things at the school? Are the students horribly behind? I think we need to give ourselves and those around us time to adjust to new ways. It's very hard to turn on a dime, you know. I still get nasty looks for my muggle upbringing, especially from those who think my promotion was a bit extreme._

_Best wishes as your summer term continues and on your research._

_Sincerely,  
__Barbara Merrill_

A/N: I had to split this chapter in two and there's not much action, but we do see the development of some things. I'm sorry if bits of these two chapters are maudlin. I've tried to keep it light, but I couldn't get away from imagining what the world must be like in the weeks after the Battle of Hogwarts. Thank you to my reviewers! I enjoy hearing other thoughts!


	4. Further Correspondence

Disclaimer: As before, most of the characters were created by and belong to JKR. Barbara I created.

_Dear Miss Merrill,_

_Thank you for the registry number and the information on the status of both our projects. I enclose the revisions I recommend for the paper. For someone who hasn't written a scholarly paper in a while, I'm actually impressed. It's certainly better than most of the work I get from even my advanced potions classes. Work continues on my end. It's so frustrating, but I think I am very close to the solution if I could just look at it the right way. If we are methodical enough we will find the answer._

_The summer term is well under way. I have three potions classes and three DADA courses to teach. The latter classes have been made much easier by, I don't believe I'm saying this, Harry Potter, whose skills I must admit are well beyond Hogwarts levels. Of course, his year away from the school was an intensive course in practical Defense Against the Dark Arts. The boy is working with me as a sort of teachers assistant. He continually oversteps boundaries, but I'm finding now that he's not nearly so disagreeable as I used to think. _

_The students in general seem more eager to learn than they have in the past. Even Potter, who used to waste space in my potions class, is working as hard as possible at his worst subject. There's an attitude in general that the students are working toward definite goals, now, instead of passing time until they are grown up. It's a gratifying time to be a teacher._

_I think you are right about giving colleagues and students time. Some of the most powerful potions take great time and effort, too. I spent years cultivating my previous demeanor and relationships. As the weeks have crept past, I notice that things have indeed changed. Miss Merrill, how do you stay so positive? And how can you be so kind to me all of the time?_

_No potions this time, perhaps in a day or two, but notes on both projects. Please keep me apprised of the progress on your end. You know how important the one has become to me._

_As ever,  
__Severus Snape_

Professor Snape looked up from signing his letter into a vacant expression on Ginny Weasley's face. Apparently there was one or two exceptions to what he had just written. However, the cause of this vacant expression appeared to be standing just to the side of his desk. How did Potter get into the dungeon without his noticing? Was he that involved with his letter? He rolled it up quickly.

"Miss Weasley, look lively. That potion won't stir itself!"

"Oh, yes, sir!" Ginny squeeked while searching for her place in her text.

"What is it _now_, Potter?" Snape had to readjust his composure. The look he was receiving from the green eyes just now was too much like one Lily used to give him whenever she caught him out at an emotional moment. He was just writing a letter, for pity's sake!

"Well, sir, we were doing a DADA practice class and working on our counter attacks and some questions came up. I have some ideas, but thought we better get the voice of greater experience. Will you have time later to meet with us and sort it out?"

"Yes, let's make it the hour before dinner."

"Thank you, sir. I'll pass the word."

"Oh, and Potter, for the sake of your and Miss Weasley's future children, you might choose a different class to interrupt, hmm?"

"Yes, sir."

Harry was nonplussed. Was Professor Snape making a joke? It _sounded_ just like his former sarcasm, but somehow something about the professor's eyes were warmer than that.

The professor was sitting at his desk poking at the thought of Lily's eyes looking at him from within the face of his school nemesis. It didn't pain or anger him as much as it had done before. _Was_ he changing?

_xxxxx_

_Dear Professor Snape,_

_I fear you are holding out on me. I know for a fact that there are Quiddich matches going on and you haven't told me a thing. Could the fact that Ravenclaw beat Slytherin be involved? Be honest. I can prepare a mean batch of veritaserum._

_If the red-soaked parchment that returned to me is better than what you are used to seeing from students, I have little hope for my poor dungeon's future! I will re-work as per your edits and send it back in my next letter. I think I see where we should take it next. Please look at my notes and tell me what you think._

_This project is my salvation. Without it (and the truly meritorious work done by colleagues such as yourself), this place would resemble Weasleys Wizard Weazes much more than a respectable dungeon. Why do people who simply threw six items into a cauldron think that they now have a cure for dragon pox? I suppose that if the preparation were to kill the sufferer outright, the dragon pox could be considered gone, but that's hardly to be desired. The Weasley brothers' preparations that I test are actually an improvement. They don't necessarily help anyone, but at least they have been proven safe._

_I didn't realize I was so kind to you. Are you sure you read my lab notes last week? I specifically remember one comment that makes me blush over my own impertinence. However, I do wish to treat you with the respect I have for the brilliance of your work. Which has only increased. I also admire your sense of remorse and your desire to help. Meanwhile, I don't know that I'm so very optimistic, either. So many things are still in such a mess that I cannot even think about them and focus on the happy things, small as they may be. There are many losses in our world, on both sides, and the remaining family members suffer so much._

_Tell me something. I'm finding that Stewart Cavill, who went through seven years in your classroom, somehow has no idea about the value of starting with a clean cauldron. I cannot imagine this is something you allowed; how did you get him to clean his equipment? Didn't you fear for your life?_

_Once again, my best wishes for your endeavors._

_Cordially,  
__Barbara Merrill_

A clatter filled the dungeon. Barbara's eyes grew narrow.

"Not again, Cavill! You know cauldrons behave oddly when they are not clean to start."

"Well, er, Miss Merrill, I never seem to have time--" He stopped when he realized that he was under the the coldest stare he had seen since leaving Hogwarts.

"Just clean it up. When I look tonight, I better see that every kettle and cauldron is in pristine condition. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Thank you, Mr. Cavill. Do have a good evening."

xxxxx

_My Dear Miss Merrill,_

_Enclosed you will find yet another of those frustrating attempts at the healing potion, as well as my thanks for a perfectly written paper. I believe that if there is nothing else to include, we should send it right along to _JPS _and see where we stand. In reading your notes, I agree that you have taken our project on the correct new path. I enclose notes of my own on the subject. I don't find you to be impertinent, just forthright. I'm sure you will have noticed my own forthright comments in the notes I've sent to you. Surely two collaborators can have a difference of opinion from time to time?_

_The summer term is half over and thoughts are turning toward the Fall. I may have a day working in London, soon, to prepare for the next term. What is your policy on visitors to your dungeon?_

_I cannot tell you what to do with Stewart Cavill, but you may have solved a puzzle for me. He would invariably start working only to have it splatter on the ceiling, after which he would clean up and produce excellent potions. He was accepted into my advanced classes on the basis of his subsequent attempts, never the first ones. Why he chose to go into a career in potions is beyond me._

_I'm afraid I will need to cut this short. I see that some of the fifth years need to be reminded of the difference between chopping and mashing. _

_As ever,  
__Severus Snape_

He straightened out the fifth years and came back to his letter.

He wanted to write about Lily, but he didn't know how to write about his experiences with Harry Potter. The correspondence had advanced from strictly professional to much more friendly, but not this friendly. Still, he had come to trust her judgment.

_PS: I find that my feelings about Lily Evans and her son are changing. Instead of seeing her eyes in his face and thinking with pain that he should be my own son, I'm finding more a sense of gratitude that she produced him. It's almost as if my feelings for her are more of a brother. Is such a thing possible? I ask you because of your kindness to me and your sense of optimism._

xxxxx

Barbara put the potion properly away and sat down, re-reading the letter. She would need to ponder his questions before answering. _I don't care what Professor Dumbledore said, I don't have a knack for this sort of thing._ She put the letter away and prepared to test Professor Snape's latest potion.

_Dear Professor Snape,_

_The healing potion works! I hope you don't mind, but I have given a sample on to the specific family we have discussed. We should know in a few days how the "real-world test" comes out. In looking at your notes, I feel that the answer should have been obvious, but the decision to use aloe in just that way was was beyond science and more like the inspiration that creates great art._

_The editors of _JPS_ have accepted our paper. They want a couple of edits on it, and I enclose a copy so that you can see. I don't think they're inappropriate and although the paper was already perfect, they wouldn't feel as though they were doing their jobs if they took it as it came, would they?_

_I may have sorted out our young friend Stewart. I told him I would put a stinging hex on the cauldrons if he didn't start washing them out better. So far, so good. Another small thing for which to be grateful!_

_There's a big thing for which I'm not grateful. The ministry turned down my request for updating the dungeon. I had thought that perhaps this was my destiny, to make these improvements, but it's not to be. Minister Shacklebolt was quite nice about it and pointed out that the funds were needed to actually rebuild some other areas. I shouldn't be so disappointed, but I admit it's a blow. Part of me wonders why we have a Quality Testing department, anyhow. The wizarding world went for hundreds of years without it. Then I read something in _The Daily Prophet_ about a family getting horribly sick due to an unregistered potion and I know my work is important._

_Oh, bother! Pardon the chatter, please. I'm not purposely ignoring your post script. You have placed a lot of faith in me and I don't wish to say anything that will make a situation worse._

He looked up from the letter. Of course she thought it was too personal. The letter went on, though.

_You said before that Lily was the only good thing in your life. Please consider that, at least during your adult life, it _had_ to be that way. In order to play your part in working against the Dark Lord, you had to put all other good things away from yourself and place yourself at odds with the people whom you were actually helping. In many ways, I think we all owe a great deal to your love for Lily, which I see now is how it was even remotely possible. Thank goodness you had one shining thing to carry you through all the horrors in which you must have traveled. However, since you are no longer at odds with the rest of the world to which you truly belong, your need for her in that role is not as great, so a part of you may be letting her go?_

_This may be complete trash, of course, so feel free to blast me if I'm wrong. Just please keep writing. I shall be selfishly dwelling on my own disappointments tonight and our correspondence is one of the few bright things in my life right now._

_Cordially,  
__Barbara Merrill_

Once again, she couldn't see the tears she had left on his face. She had tremendous insight, and, oddly enough, he felt much better. Maybe he could let Lily go. There was a post script.

_PS: I have an open door policy on the dungeon, so you are welcome to drop by whenever your other tasks in town allow. If I am working on something where light or open air would be a problem, there will be a note on the door._

xxxxx

He was sitting at his desk in his quarters, staring at her student records. He had obtained them on the pretext of fulfilling a task assigned to him by the Headmistress, but he knew he really wanted to look for other reasons. In sorting through portions of the records that would be used for the official business, he came upon a note from Albus Dumbledore:

_Barbara has a skill for what I can only call empathy. She somehow draws the pain of others onto herself which has been very useful to Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing. I tried to make her aware of this skill, but she shyly shook her head. This is not a well-known area of magic and she will have to find ways to explore it for herself, but we may be able to give her some classes that will help. The downside of her skill is a tendency to wear her heart on her sleeve. Hopefully she will accept her skill and find ways to develop it, as we will need as much help as possible to deal with the present evil. _

So that's what it was. She had a natural skill for making people feel better. It certainly worked on him and he saw it at work in the Great Hall. Didn't he feel better just when she put her hand on his arm under the willow? She would have done it for anyone. It wasn't...He sat up and wrote a memo. The information here that he would use officially was in perfect order. He was sure Minerva and the Board of Governors would approve his recommendation.

_A/N: Thank you again to all who have read my story, and those of you who have reviewed have been most helpfull! Please feel free to speak up about this story. Meanwhile, to those of you wishing these people would do something, there is a little more action in the next bit._


	5. A Job Offer

_Disclaimer: Most of these characters and places belong to JKR. I added Barbara._

Barbara sighed over a potion that was supposed to cure spattergroit. The directions in the recipe didn't produce the same potion as the sample, and based on her tests, this potion wouldn't cure anything and would definitely do a great deal of harm to an unsuspecting public. She stretched her back, pulled herself to her full height, and prepared her standard potion rejection letter.

"Yeeks!"

"What is it _now_, Stewart? Have you melted another cauldron? Just clear up and finish for the day. I have to finish this letter and dispose of that spattergroit disaster."

"Er, Miss Merrill, there's _someone_ to see you."

She signed the letter and turned with her "I expect better things of you" expression on her face and looked right into the amused but stern eyes of Severus Snape.

Without changing expression she said, "Thank you Stewart, you may leave, now." The young man scrambled away eagerly, looking with fear between the stern looks on his former professor's and current boss's faces.

Professor Snape laughed sardonically. "The lad is as scared of you as he ever was of me."

She joined his laugh. "One can only hope."

When they were alone she noticed that he wasn't stern at all. "Why Professor Snape! You're the picture of excitement! Pray tell what brings you to my humble dungeon."

"Good afternoon Miss Merrill. I'm excited for two reasons. The first is this." He handed her a letter. "The second is...we've been invited to dinner at the Burrow."

"So...?"

"It worked. George Weasley's ear is grown back. It's not perfect, but he looks completely normal, now."

"Professor Snape, that's wonderful! Let me switch my robes, and..." Turning to her work space. "Oh, rubbish, and I really mean rubbish. Let me clear this mess away. Have a seat." Pointing to her desk. She turned to clear up the potion and its disastrous results.

"Letting me see your correspondence? Any love letters to look at?"

"Noo..." he could actually hear her face turning pink and got an image of a ribbon-tied bundle of scrolls. He looked on her desk.

"Why, these are from me!" He saw them right in front of the picture of her Hogwarts class, which he noticed was three years after his own. She had graduated right before he was hired. Closing his eyes, he vaguely recalled a plain faced little girl with big eyes and long braids staring at him across the library.

"Well," she said, trying to regain composure, "I wanted to make sure they were all in one place so that I could keep track of our joint projects."

"I see." He hid the smile he felt. _There aren't any other ribbon tied bundles, here. _He looked intently at the Hogwarts picture, trying to see if he could find either the little girl he remembered or the woman standing before him.

"OK," she said after a few moments, "I'm ready."

"We have much to celebrate."

She looked at Severus, "Wait a minute, is there more?"

He looked at her with the expression he saved for the least bright of his students. Otherwise he would laugh. "Open the letter."

It was written on Hogwarts stationery. She sat down and opened it.

_Dear Miss Merrill,_

_Circumstances of the last several months have left several vacancies on our staff. Due to the high recommendations of our former Potions Master, Professor Severus Snape, and upon review of your school and work records, it gives me great pleasure to offer you the position of Potions Mistress here at Hogwarts School, as well as associate House Head for Ravenclaw._

She looked up and he was smiling brilliantly. The next bit covered her expected course work, when the term was to begin and pay and the letter ended with:

_The other returning professors and I would like to meet with you Thursday evening, if it is agreeable. We would then appreciate you assistance with the special OWL and NEWT testing the next morning and we can firm up any details that are still unresolved. Please owl back your expected time of arrival._

_Sincerely,  
__Minerva McGonagall  
__Headmistress  
__Hogwarts School_

He was looking at her expectantly. "You'll come, won't you? Please tell me you don't mind the pay cut or will miss the advantages of city living, or..."

"Moving away from all this glamor?" she spread her arms to indicate the shabby dungeon. "When you put it like that, I think... you know, I think I shall." When she smiled like that, he could see dimples in her cheeks.

"Wonderful!" he said. She had never expected to see him so animated. He leaned toward her and then sat back in his chair. "We can continue our collaborations much more conveniently this way, you see."

"Oh, yes," she answered then spoke too quickly, "quite. Let me send an owl to Professor McGonagall, and we can be off..." She made herself busy so as to keep from chattering.

* * *

Later, they were walking from the Burrow toward Ottery St. Catchpole, both elated over their success with George Weasley's ear.

She suddenly realized something. "Professor Snape? How is it that I am going to take your position and yet we'll be able to continue our work together?"

"We're re-working the Defense Against the Dark Arts curriculum. I've been asked to take that teaching and research position permanently and look at how we can best prepare for what is likely to come in the future. They think my experiences will be valuable."

He stopped walking. "By the way. Barbara." He said her name very deliberately and looked into her eyes. "I think, since we are both to be professors at the same institution now, you can dispense with the 'Professor Snape' and just call me Severus. Give it a try."

"Are you sure, Prof, er, Severus?" I don't want you to think me presumptuous." She was blushing.

He laughed and replied, "My dear lady, you're the least presumptuous person I know. Talented, professional, kind, definitely. Never presumptuous." He took her hand and looped it through his elbow before apparating them both to London, to a deserted street corner very near her flat.

He walked her to her door and made sure she was safely inside. "Thank you, Severus, for a lovely evening, and everything else." She closed the door and leaned against it, wondering how he knew precisely the best place to apparate into her neighborhood.

"And you, Barbara." He stood just a moment longer than necessary, wondering if she knew how his name sounded on her lips.

_A/N: A special thank you to reviewer **Mark Darcy**, who discovered a major flaw in the flow, which has now been corrected._


	6. Turning a Corner

_Disclaimer: JKR's characters and world, for the most part._

The meeting with the Headmistress and staff went very well. Professor Flitwick, her advisor when she was a student, was delighted to see her again, and all the staff had remembered her fondly. The other professors were eager to get into the new school year. She would enjoy working here. Afterwards, Barbara was given a tour of the dungeon by Severus and the living area assigned to the potions teacher.

They were roomier than her flat. "I can't say the silver and green are my favorites," she said tartly, "But I'm sure I'll be quite comfortable."

"You can redecorate any way you please, of course. You can make it identical to the glamor of your current situation if you like." They both laughed.

xxxxx

The next day she sat in on potions OWLs and NEWTs.

"All right then, Miss Granger...let's see your invisibility potion."

Hermione worked nervously over the cauldron under the impassive stare of the proctor. The brown eyes missed nothing. "She's as scary as Snape," Hermione thought.

"Well done!" Merrill said, shaking Hermione's hand when she was finished, leaving the girl to wander away in confusion as Goyle stepped forward.

xxxxx

"I'm very sad to say it, but I think you will need to hold back Neville Longbottom." Barbara was looking over exam papers.

"You mean 'we', and if you'd seen where his abilities were two years ago, you would be extremely impressed with him. He's come a long way since deciding potions would be a good complimentary program with herbology." He passed her the student records.

"Well, I think we can shape him up greatly in the next year. I take it that he's one of the students whose attitude has changed since the battle?"

"If you spoke with Filius you would learn that the boy's ability in charms has improved, too. He does need more work, but he will be ready next spring...he's already qualified for his NEWTs in DADA and Herbology. I'm not sure Neville will mind being here for another year, though. He will surely be assistant to Pomona and then theres the Abbot girl...she's made remarkable progress, but she has over a year to make up...they've always been close."

They finished grading the exams and moved on to the potions curriculum. He had originally planned to do the grading and discussions at his work table, but instead moved them to a nearby classroom. He didn't want anyone to get a wrong impression about Miss Merrill, although it was unclear to him whose wrong impressions he was trying to avoid or what that impression might be.

They spent the afternoon going over his former class plans and ideas for making improvements, finding that their philosophies of the subject and teaching were quite similar. Having time to spare, he showed her some ideas he had about teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. Again he was pleased to find that she had some insights that he found useful, although why she should be so knowledgeable about that subject was an enigma.

xxxxx

Professor Merrill had dinner at the teacher's table in the Great Hall, where the sixth years looked at her curiously, the seventh years were grateful that they did not have to be in her classes, and the fifth years fretted over their future potions classes. She had made a definite impression during the testing.

Everyone watched her carefully and therefore everyone saw and was amazed when during the conversation Professor Snape threw his head back and laughed. When he looked down again, he glared around the room and especially at Barbara. "You are ruining my carefully developed reputation. Quick, fix them with that death stare of yours."

"Surely you jest. I have no death stare. Oh, unless you are referring to how I look when someone breaks one of my cauldrons? Or squeaks when I'm writing a letter just because his favorite potions professor visits? Is that really a death stare?"

He looked into her face and knew he would soon have a different reputation. "How about that look you got as you asked them questions during the potions testing?"

"Professor Snape?" It was an effort to turn.

"Mr. Malfoy. What can I do for you?"

"Could I speak with you, please? In the hallway?"

Severus turned back, "Barbara, if you don't mind. You can join us in a few moments and we can finish our tour of the castle." She smiled and nodded.

They were arguing when she came out and they hadn't bothered with a _muffiliato_ charm.

"Things are different now. The other houses want us here and they want us all to unite as one school. We need to meet them part way. Draco, some of the Slytherin ideas are mistaken."

"But how can you become so close to a muggle-born?"

"Whatever her birth, she's a highly skilled and qualified witch, Draco."

"I get it...So you're pretending to get along with mudbloods so that later we can rise up again?"

"DRACO! Do not ever use that word in my hearing again!"

"Professor! make use of her skills, fine, but to give her tours of the castle and become friendly with her? _She's from muggles!_"

"As am I, if it comes to that, Malfoy. My father was a muggle, too." Draco stood stunned and Barbara gasped.

"Ah, Barbara, could you join us, please? Professor Barbara Merrill, may I introduce you to Draco Malfoy, one of our prefects and brightest students?"

"Pleased to, meet you, Ma'am" said Draco. "Um, professors? I need to finish my dinner."

"Run along, then, Malfoy. The Death Eaters are through. Things are different now. Try to embrace that."

Turning to Barbara, Severus asked, "Shall we tour the castle some more? I understand that the Astronomy Tower is completely renovated and safe enough to visit."

"I should be delighted."

They weren't the first to visit the tower. "Weasley, Potter! Ten points each from Griffindor," he said before remembering that there weren't any points for the summer session. He curled his lip and laughed. "Under the circumstances it would appear that instead I should introduce you. Professor Barbara Merrill, may I introduce you to Ginevra Weasley and Harry Potter?"

"I'm delighted to meet both of you, although we've already met, Mr. Potter, haven't we?" Barbara said. A look of terror crossed Harry's face. "Oh, don't fret! The results aren't official yet, but I don't think we shall see each other during the school year, and just between you and myself, Kingsley Shacklebolt is anxious to get you into the auror program."

"Thank you, Professor." Harry brightened considerably.

"It's an honor to meet two heroes of the recent war. I shall look forward to working with you during the school year...Ginny, right?"

After a round of compliments and handshaking, Severus flicked his head in a well known way and the younger two disappeared quickly. Barbara had already moved to the railing to look over the grounds.

"Oh, it looks so peaceful! So lovely! I feel so at home, here...Thank you, Severus, I know you were responsible for the job offer." She blushed every time she addressed him by first name.

"Barbara." he touched her hand and she turned to him. "Tell me about yourself."

"What is there to say? My parents are muggles and my life has been frightfully boring."

"You know that's not true. However did you manage a dual education?"

"I'm not Ravenclaw by accident, you know. I studied hard, and chose majors that had certain complimentary aspects."

"You have a muggle degree that takes eight years to obtain."

"Well, a bit longer if you do it on nights and weekends, through the assistance of well-connected parents. That PhD came in useful when I had to go back to the muggle world."

"How much do you use that special empathy skill?"

How did her hand get clasped in both of his? She snatched it back. "You've been at my student records! That's-- my privacy--"

"I was doing some fact checking for Minerva and came upon a note from Albus Dumbledore. I didn't mean to spy or anything. I admit that I'm grateful for your skills and that you shared them with me. I've told you so much about myself and don't know much about you at all. How was it discovered?"

"Oh, little things, I suppose...there was a day in fifth year when we were in Professor Sprout's class and one of the Slytherin boys, Crabbe, maybe, was picking on the muggle born kids. All of a sudden Susie Atkins went into hysterics. We couldn't tell if she'd been cursed or hurt by one of the dangerous plants or what so Professor Sprout asked me to walk her up to the hospital wing. She seemed so upset that I just put my arm around her and she told me how scared she was of the Death Eaters and he-who-must-not-be-named and I just listened but by the time we got there Madam Pomfrey looked her over and said she was perfectly well. Then the Headmaster asked to see me and we talked about it and he asked if I realized how special that was." She looked up. "I don't feel special. I'm practically invisible to most people."

"You're not invisible to me, at least not any more."

"You can't know how horrible--" She stopped herself. "I'm glad if I was able to help you, Severus. Please don't tell anyone about it, though. It's no big deal. Not like you or young Mr. Potter, there. Sometimes I just have a compulsion to ask people to tell me their deepest anguish and then they do. Please, Severus. Just pretend it doesn't exist."

"It's your secret to tell or not, my dear lady, although to some people it is a big deal. I watched you in the Great Hall, that morning. Every person you spoke to was better off." She didn't seem inclined to speak any longer and they drifted off into their own thoughts.

Severus suddenly remembered what had happened the last time he had been in that place and shivered. Barbara looked uncertainly up at her companion. She realized that great tragedies had occurred on this tower, perhaps where she was standing. He was staring at the other side of the tower with revulsion.

Again that gentle hand on his arm. "Tell me."

"Well, it's been changed around a bit during the refurbishing, but I'm pretty sure I was standing to the right, there, and Albus was against the handrail over there on the left. Potter must have been in his invisibility cloak next to him over to the side a little, but immovable. I think Albus hexed him ...I think to prevent Potter from interfering. Albus was begging me. The others thought for his life, but I knew what he was demanding. I hated myself in that moment! I got away and was sick for hours. I would almost rather have suffered the punishment of breaking an unbreakable vow. From that moment, I have never used an unforgivable curse."

This time, she saw the tears. She wordlessly reached up and touched her hand to the side of his face. "I'm sure he forgives you, if that was even an issue. Please try to forgive yourself."

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, then reached up to take her hand in his own. "You've done it again. You're so kind to me, and I feel like I hardly know you."

Her eyes got big and then she turned away.

"Perhaps I should see you to the other tower?" Barbara was using her old room in the newly refurbished Ravenclaw quarters. She nodded her assent and they left.

xxxxx

Saturday morning found them at the Quiddich patch. As in the Great Hall, the house markings were removed from the stands to facilitate minor repairs, and the students sat in one section with the faculty in another.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you," Professor McGonagall was telling Barbara, "The Griffindor seeker is of course unbeatable, and Ravenclaw is, well you know." Griffindor scored again.

Barbara smiled while watching the players flying on their brooms. It was clear that they were enjoying the day and the chance to play. "It's so nice to see the students just being young again...BRILLIANT!" Everyone in the stands was on their feet. Harry Potter had just caught the golden snitch, ending the game. Everyone was cheering, even the team that lost. She looked around, her face shining with delight and turned to the older witch.

"Minerva, you've given these kids a golden summer. One last chance to be children and play with joy and abandon so as to heal from the war before taking on the responsibilities of adulthood. It was inspired genius."

"Thank you, dear. It has been rather a success."

xxxxx

The next day Barbara and Severus were walking to the village when suddenly Barbara stopped, dropping her wand, and backed up, stepping on Severus' foot. He grabbed her shoulders to steady her and looked curiously at her, getting an impression of a _cruciatus_ curse before suddenly seeing a slammed door with a frilly "Do not disturb" sign. He looked up and saw that they were facing another person on the path.

"Ah, Mrs. Andromeda Tonks, may I present Professor Barbara Merrill? Barbara is to be our new Potions Mistress."

"Hello, Severus. I'm pleased to meet you Professor Merrill."

Barbara reached to take her hand. "Oh! Mrs. Tonks. I'm pleased to make your acquiantance. I'm so sorry for your losses. I often saw Tonks around the ministry." She was blushing horribly and on the verge of chattering.

"Thank you, dear. I wanted to come and see where Nymphadora--" She shook her head. "So I left Teddy with his godfather at the tea shop. Well, I won't keep you. Nice to meet you, dear."

"Nice to meet you, too..." And they were back on their way.

Severus pulled her hand within his arm to offer support and said, "What did Bellatrix Lestrange do to you?"

"Wh-? Bel-? I? Oh, nothing, nothing at all."

"I know she did something. Something that would make you upset at the sight of the sister who looks very much like her."

"Please leave it alone." Her face had now gone white and her lips were carefully set under overlarge eyes.

"Okay. So tell me, how long did you study Occlumency with Albus Dumbledore?"

"What are you talking about?"

"That door trick is something he taught."

She sighed. "He said that I needed to be able to close my mind because when...that other skill... comes out I'm vulnerable. So he taught me that trick, but told me that an expert Legilimens would know what I was doing and would find a way to get through the door. He told me to practice so that I wouldn't need the door and said that he had one student who was such an expert at Occlumency that the student could hide his mind in such a way that the person trying to read it didn't realize there was more...you, I presume? Well, since that student was also an expert at Legilimancy I assume you can look into my mind, anyway, then.

"Don't worry. I won't look beyond the door unless you open it. I'm not as ruthless as all that." Besides, he got enough of a glimpse to know where to pursue his inquiry next.

"Thank you, Severus." There was that blush again.

"You're a good enough occlumens that you don't wear your heart on your sleeve anymore."

"Whatever did Dumbledore actually say about me? Well, I had to become a cold fish, I guess. It's been dangerous times."

They walked into a the Three Broomsticks and what appeared to be a meeting of several Slytherin students.

"Professor Snape! Can you join us, please?" They put a chair out for him and pointedly ignored his companion.

"Hey! Rosmerta! I haven't seen you in ages!" Barbara went over to chat with the proprietress.

"That was pretty rude, my friends," said their advisor.

Draco leaned forward. "We're trying to figure out what you meant when you were talking to me last night."

Pansy Parkinson nodded her head. "We know it was some sort of a code.

Severus Snape sat back in his chair and surveyed the group. In some ways, they were the greatest victims of the war. In other ways, they brought their troubles on themselves and would continue to do so.

"The dark lord is gone. He will not return. Do not pin your hopes on that possibility. The Death Eaters are finished. I hope that none of you, even those of you who joined, want to go back to what they did." He was gratified to see that those who had joined looked ill. "I know that many of you want power. Ambition is part of what makes us Slytherins. We have to use that ambition to make the world a better place."

"So the heir of Slytherin will come back another way?" Goyle asked. These students seemed fixated.

The professor suppressed a shudder. He wondered how much of this reflected what the parents thought and believed.

"Look, the bottom line is that we need to try to work with the other houses. And while you are working with them, allow yourself the potential to become friends with them."

"Even the mudbloods?"

Snape looked around the table and made sure he caught the eye of each student. "Anyone who belongs to our world."

He stood, signaling that the meeting was over, and walked over to the table where Rosmerta and Barbara had their heads together. Rosmerta took their orders and left. Severus looked at Barbara with an inquisitive expression.

"Oh, girl talk. She was telling me where to shop and that sort of thing." She nodded over to where some of the Slytherins were still sitting. "Trouble there?"

He sighed. "I'm not sure the battle is over. As you say, these things will take time."


	7. A New Direction

Disclaimer: Most of the characters and places are JKRs, with one character I created.

_Dear Severus,_

_Thank you again for a lovely weekend._

_I guess this will be my last letter to you since next week I will be at the school. It seems funny to say, but I will miss our correspondence. Odd, since we'll be able to discuss our work much more conveniently, but I'm an odd sort of a girl._

_I've been packing up my things and do you know, packing up the dungeon is harder than my flat? I feel that there is so much more of me here. I guess that tells how much I get out into the big wide world._

_Once again, you've held out on the Quidditch. Why didn't you tell me that Slytherin beat Hufflepuff? Is it that, since Griffindor beat all it doesn't really matter? It will be evener during the school year. With the whole school to choose from, one can't build a team with a seeker alone. And Griffindor will need a new seeker._

_I haven't much else to say. I enclose my notes for the paper on the healing potion, so they won't get lost in my packing and unpacking. You will have to take the lead on that one, wizard and artist that you are. It's really your work, in which I am most grateful to have been allowed to assist._

_I will see you next week. Good bye for now._

_Cordially,_

_Barbara_

She rolled it up and saw Kingsley Shacklebolt stepping over and around her packing crates.

"Well, Barbara...I guess you will be leaving soon."

"Yes sir."

"You leave me in quite a lurch."

"If I didn't know you were one of the governors who selected me, I would be sorry, sir."

He laughed. "You still have an offer in that other department, you know."

"Thank you, but potions are for me and I'm really looking forward to working with the students."

"Yes, and still I expect you to do the occasional special project for me. Especially that one we've discussed." She shifted uneasily in her desk chair. "Good luck, Barbara." He shook hands and walked out.

"Thank you sir."

xxxxx

"What can I do for you, Snape?" Kingsley Shacklebolt sat back in his chair and looked across his desk at—who? Professor? Auror? Death Eater? Order of the Phoenix member? Hero? Traitor? Severus Snape was all of these, and yet the man sitting across from him was none of them.

"I requested this meeting because I wanted some information. You were there when Bellatrix Lestrange did something to Barbara Merrill."

Kingsley leaned forward. "That's awfully personal information, Professor. Why do you want it?"

For the first time ever, he saw Severus Snape at a loss. "Interest in the well-being of a colleague, I guess." He looked up. "I feel responsible for her since I pushed so hard for her getting the job at Hogwarts. Plus, something about it haunts her. She saw Andromeda Tonks and dropped her wand."

"That _is_ serious. I've never known her to do that. She's _never_ done that."

The minister leaned back in his chair and looked at Snape appraisingly for a few minutes while Severus pondered the Minister's vehemence.

"I shouldn't do this because she won't appreciate it, and she throws a mean hex when she's mad, but I'll tell you what I saw that day.

"You know that after Rufus was killed, Delores Umbridge started gathering muggle-born wizards and witches. I gave Barbara the information and she was smuggling a group and herself through a floo in Kings Cross to some place out of the country. I was there to help. Then Bellatrix showed up. She cast a _cruciatus _at all of them and only missed Barbara, who was closest to the fireplace. Barbara stood up to hide me and the curse was somehow re-directed to herself. I'm surprised that she didn't go mad, but she actually resisted the curse and sent it back. They were all rounded up and taken away. Then those kids saved her. I managed to get her wand back to her and the next time she succeeded in getting her parents and herself out of the country."

"You got her wand? That involved some personal risk on your part...?"

"She got me through advanced potions. I owe her."

"Kingsley, are you aware of any special skills Barbara might have?"

"I know she trained in occlumency and legilimancy but that she isn't particularly proficient in either."

"Nothing else, that would account for her drawing the curse to herself?"

"I take it that you have read Albus Dumbledore's remarks in her file?"

"Has she ever trained as an auror?"

"Why ever would you ask that?" Shacklebolt looked at his watch. "Aren't you planning to catch a train, Snape?"

Severus checked his watch, jumped up and with a "thank you" was gone. The minister looked after him and pondered. "Whatever else he is or isn't...I do believe he fancies the lady." He smiled before yelling out to his assistant, "What's next?"

xxxxx

Several students noted to their satisfaction that when he ran, Professor Severus Snape still looked like a bat. That, at least, was back to normal. Then they went back to their goodbyes. He barely noticed that they were there as he leaped onto the train and started looking through the compartments. He found what he was looking for and composed himself before opening the door.

"Professor! I had an appointment here in town and thought I might accompany you to the school."

Barbara looked up and suddenly smiled. "Of course! I would be delighted, Professor. I was just going through your old progress reports on the students so that I could fix them in my mind. Now you can explain some of your comments to me."

"I would be happy to assist you, but first you have to explain something to me that I've always wondered."

She looked wary.

"What's this instrument of torture that you keep in her hair?"

She laughed, "Oh, it's a double pointed knitting needle." She pulled it out and offered it to him; a quantity of brown hair fell over her shoulders and back while the scent of roses and lavender filled the compartment. He couldn't move or speak although he hoped that he kept his face impassive. Since he didn't take the needle, she twisted it all back up, while he closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

The train started with a jolt and it brought him back to himself.

"I see. That was quite, er, informative. So, with which of my former young charges would you like to start?"

"How about this one. Exactly what did you mean by 'the only way the potion could be made worse is if the student had actually read the directions'?"

_A/N: Thanks to everyone who has been reading. Feel free to review, and thanks, again, to those who have!_


	8. A Woman Scorned

_Disclaimer: Most of the characters and world were created by JKR_

"This meeting will come to order."

The faculty and staff were seated around a table in the staff lounge. Headmistress McGonagall looked them all over from the head of the table.

"Class has been in session for some weeks, now, and we should discuss how the year is going. How are we doing with the special seventh year class? Is the extra tutoring too much of a drain?"

A short discussion ensued concerning whether there was too much extra work for the professors. However, the students being tutored in some areas were often assisting other teachers so that the overall work load was still balanced.

"Very good. Moving on to discipline. I know that these children have had a lot of difficulty in their recent life, but we should not withhold discipline when it is necessary. Two of our professors seem to understand that," looking at Professors Snape and Merrill who then exchanged amused looks, "but the rest of you need to maintain a proper order in your classrooms and elsewhere. Poor Argus is going crazy. Don't be afraid to issue detentions just as you would have done before.

"Next item: Hagrid, have we caught all of the magical creatures yet?"

Hagrid looked sheepish and admitted that there were one or two for which he was still looking. "They're very sweet, though, they won't hurt anyone."

McGonagall smiled but shook her head. "You'd say that if they bit off someone's head or spit venom. Okay, until they're finally caught, the students are only allowed outside with staff members.

"Finally, the issue of security has been brought up by several parents. Severus, you spoke with Kingsley before the start of the school year. What can you tell us?"

"Actually, that wasn't what we met to discuss." Barbara caught Severus' eye before he quickly turned his head.

"Well, we'll have to speak with the new head of the Aurors...what was his name? Man-, Ming-"

"Monroe," Barbara said.

"That's right, Monroe. I'll have him down to discuss arrangements. Well, that's all, then."

For Barbara, the end of the meeting was a blur of encouragement for all the teachers from Minerva, and getting out of the room.

"Barbara." She turned and saw him standing there, the truth written all over his face.

He knew about the day in Kings Cross. He had gone around her and asked Kingsley. Did he also know about..._shut the door! _She turned on her heel and walked away, leaving such a rage in her wake that he chose not to follow.

At dinner, she sat with the third year Ravenclaw girls, smiling and chatting while he sat at the faculty table in misery. Not being able to take any more, he walked over to her.

The fear he had instilled in students for nearly twenty years made it all too easy. At the look on the girls' faces, Barbara picked up her wand threw an invisible wall between him and herself over her shoulder. "_Protego!_"

"Barbara, I wanted to apologize." He broke the wall charm and was going to say more when he suddenly found himself walking back to the table.

"She's cast a revulsion jinx!" He thought with sudden anger. He released himself and turned around to see that her back was still toward him. Without really thinking about it, he was suddenly holding her knitting needle in his hand and watching her hair tumble down her back. _Now_ she turned, but he almost wished she hadn't. The death stare was horrible when it was fixed on him, and then her eyes narrowed alarmingly.

"Severus, what's gotten into you? You didn't even behave this way when you were a student. Severus!" Minerva was talking to him, but he didn't really hear her. He left the Great Hall and wandered through the castle. He finally arrived in his study, where he wrote a note.

_Barbara,_

_Please accept my apology. I realize, now, that it was wrong to pry._

_Please, Barbara, forgive me.  
__Severus_

He gave it to a house elf and resigned himself to a sleepless night.

The next morning, there was a potion bottle on his desk, containing the unopened scroll and an oddly viscous potion. Knowing he shouldn't do it, he pulled out the stopper and watched in disbelief as the scroll popped out of the bottle and burst into flame. He shook his head as the ash showered onto his desk.

He dressed and went to breakfast, where there was no sign of Professor Merrill.

Just as he was finishing his coffee and getting ready to leave, there was a Ministry owl.

_Snape,_

_I don't often get howlers from ministry employees. You should let her cool down before trying to speak to her. As I said before, she throws a mean hex._

_Shacklebolt_

He couldn't leave well enough alone and found himself on the receiving end of tripping jinxes, and stinging hexes.

"Shacklebolt was right and she's got amazing wand work," Severus thought. Something didn't quite add up. He wasn't able to give it too much thought because he spent so much time parrying her spells and occasionally sending a few jinxes of his own but regretting it whenever he was on the receiving end of her rebounding jinx.

Thus was the situation was several weeks later when Barbara found a potion bottle and note on her desk.

_Dear Barbara,_

_Please forgive the presumption, but I wonder if you could look over my notes on this potion. It almost works the way I would like, but there is something a little off about it. I would be most grateful._

_Severus_

_PS: I'm truly sorry for going around you like that._

The next morning, he received his bottle back with a note from her:

_Dear Professor Snape,_

_I think I may have seen a small mistake in your calculations. Please look at my notes and then check yours again._

_Truly, sir, I don't know whether to hope you are deliberately making mistakes or if you've actually made one. I cannot decide which is worse._

_I've received word that our first article will be in the February JPS. They are still reviewing the second one._

_Sincerely,  
__Barbara Merrill_

Finally contact! No matter that it was so stilted, so formal... He looked up in time to stop Jessica Elvin from slicing off Albert Deven's ear. After dismissing his third year class, he decided it might be okay to try another note.

_Dear Miss Merrill,_

_I wonder if you would accompany me to the Quiddich match on Saturday? I understand the new keeper for Ravenclaw is very good._

_Barbara, please forgive me. If only because, as you can see, it's adversely affecting my research._

_Sincerely,  
__Severus_

She was a sucker for a Quiddich match. She was also a sucker for some things she didn't want to think about.

_Dear Severus,_

_OK, I give up. Yes, I'll come with you. I haven't much hopes for Ravenclaw this year, but perhaps against Hufflepuff they won't embarrass themselves too badly._

_I forgive you for being duplicitous. I'm afraid that I have been overly reticent. I apologize for that. _

_I'll meet you by the great door._

_Cordially,  
__Barbara_

They were back to "cordially" and first names. He placed the scroll in a drawer and lifted out the knitting needle he had removed from her hair. It still smelled of roses and lavender. He put the needle back into the drawer and smiled.

_A/N: Well, ok, so the woman wasn't actually scorned, but her request was. The end result was the same._


	9. Halloween

_Disclaimer: All JKR's except for my OC_

"Luna, would you care to have tea with me this afternoon?" Barbara stopped the seventh year student at the end of class.

"Oh, sure, Professor Merrill."

Together they went into Barbara's office and she put a kettle to boil.

"So how are things going with you? Have you thoughts about your plans after Hogwarts? You are very good at preparing potions."

"I love potions, but I really want to go on expeditions to discover magical creatures. My father has taught me about so many of them and I want to see them and see what they're like."

"That sounds wonderful. Have you made arrangements, already?"

"Yes, I'll be traveling with an expedition team run by a friend of my dad's."

The kettle whistled and Barbara prepared the tea, which she brought to the table with some cake.

"Why don't I pour your cup and let you fix it the way you like?" Barbara handed the girl a cup. "Luna, I've heard some things between students in different houses. What do you know about a prank that's planned on Slytherin?" Barbara poured her own cup.

"People don't tell me things, but that doesn't mean I don't notice them," started the girl. "I think they want to decorate the Slytherin common room to look like Griffindor and then to put trick items around. Is this something they should do? It doesn't seem quite, sporting."

"No, dear, it's not sporting at all. You're very perceptive. I think our friends in Slytherin are not adjusting too well and this is just a way to make them feel worse. Will you help me to discourage people from doing this?"

"What should I do?"

"Well, to some extent, I think we need to keep it our secret that I know about this, but if anyone asks you to participate, tell them what you told me, ok?"

"I can do that."

"So tell me about some of the magical creatures you hope to find."

* * *

"Minerva, there may be a problem."

"What is it?" asked the Headmistress, conjuring two chairs in front of her fire.

"I'm coming to you as both the Headmistress and as a Griffindor. I overheard a couple of the Griffindors and Hufflepuffs planning some pretty ugly pranks upon the Slytherins for Halloween." She outlined what Luna had told her. "I hate to say it, but I suspect there are Ravenclaws in on it, too. Even if we hadn't just been through the war, it would have been a bad idea, but under the circumstances, this could be pretty demoralizing."

The Headmistress agreed. "That could be serious."

"I understand wanting to even things up a bit after what last year was like, but I cannot approve of something like this. Not when Slytherins in general are being treated the way they are in villages and in the Ministry. You know Kingsley is trying to stamp that sort of thing out, and we need to do our part, here, too."

Minerva thought for a while. "I'll talk to Pomona and Filius about it and see if the current leaders of Dumbledore's Army will be forthcoming. They should know what the plans are. Otherwise, I suspect I can count on your assistance that day? I would like you to represent Ravenclaw. Filius isn't as young as he used to be."

"Absolutely. Thank you Minerva."

* * *

Long before dawn on the morning of Halloween, a crowd of Hogwarts students quietly made their way through the castle, carrying buckets of paint and various products from Weasley's Wizard Weezes. They were stopped, however, by the appearance of the heads of house standing before the Slytherin doorway, from whence the Slytherin prefects peeked.

"Doing some redecorating, I see?" asked McGonagall. I think we need to deduct 100 points each from Griffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff. I think we'll take charge of all your paraphernalia, too. Argus?" Filch came and gathered everything up.

The Headmistress stood taller, if it were possible and looked at all the students such that they each felt singled out. The professors standing behind her looked pretty grim too.

"I wouldn't have chosen this sort of situation to make a speech, but I'm going to do so. You have a great priviledge, today, to work on your educations and improve a world that was going horribly wrong. You have a chance to make new friends, perhaps among people whom you might have seen as enemies, before. Do not squander this chance. You have lost parents, family, friends in these battles and the sort of thing you were trying to do here would have made their sacrifices worthless. I expect better things of you."

McGonagall smiled, although acerbically. "I'm sure you are tired with your efforts and want to get back to your beds. Let's not ruin our Halloween with this. Off you go," and the students dispersed.

Turning, the Headmistress addressed the Slytherins who were present. "I hope you will forgive them for wanting to treat you as some of you treated them last year. It was wrong then and wrong now. Know that we stand behind you as you learn to embrace a new perspective."

The teachers followed the students, Professor Snape heading to the Slytherin Common Room and the others back to their respective apartments.

"Barbara," the Headmistress drew her close and walked beside her. "That was some good work you did the other day. I had a hard time finding out anything about it. I suspect you have some training that's not on your record?"

Barbara turned pink. "I just heard them talking, Minerva. There was nothing special about that."

"All right, my dear. We'll leave it alone for now."

* * *

The yearly Halloween Feast was a great success this year. The Great Hall had never looked more festive in Severus' memory, and the students were enjoying the opportunity for fun and games after a year in which such things were curtailed. Severus had never really taken part, before, and the students were making the most of a holiday they did not have the year before.

As the evening wore on, however, Barbara noticed that Severus' good mood dissipated.

"What is it?"

"Will you come someplace with me? We can go there and be back this evening."

She nodded and they slipped out of the feast and out of the castle grounds. "Where do we have to go?"

"We will have to apparate there. Do you mind?"

She shook her head and as he did in Ottery St. Catchpole, he pulled her hand through his elbow and turned.

They arrived in another small town, in front of a house that had been destroyed. He turned and pointed to a house across the street. "That's where I stood and watched. I've tried to come back many times since that night and haven't always been able to do so. Someone was usually watching. I thought if he had sent Dolohov or even Lestrange to do it, I could stop them, but he came himself. I was watching, powerless, when he killed Potter, and Lily, and tried to kill the boy. I should have done... something."

"I'm so sorry. This is Godric's Hollow, then?"

He nodded and with her hand still on his arm, he led her down the road.

"However did you know where to come? The Potter's home was one of the best kept secrets in the wizarding world."

"I was there when Pettigrew came and broke the secret. I don't know if he realized that although he had helped the Dark Lord, he had made himself look completely untrustworthy. No one quite trusted Peter Pettigrew again."

They walked on, coming eventually to the town burial ground. He seemed to know where to go next. At last he stopped at the graves of James and Lily Potter. They stood for a while before he sighed and said, "I'm sorry Lily, and even to you, James. I had no idea he would decide it was you. Your son has done very well and you should be proud of him. Things will be better, now."

She startled him by pulling her hand out of his arm. She took out her wand and made a basket of lilies, which she placed on the grave marker.

"Thank you," she said, as they moved away.

"For what?"

"For telling me about this."

"Somehow things are better after I tell you."

They turned to leave the cemetery.

They pulled up short at the sight of Harry Potter, coming in. Upon seeing them, the boy's face twisted with anger and pain.

"You don't belong here!" he said.

"No, I do not," Severus quietly agreed, "But I cannot stay away, either."

"She was _my_ mother, and my father's _wife_!"

"Harry," Barbara spoke as quietly as Severus and although the two men's gazes were locked on each other, she knew they heard her. "Your mother and Severus shared a close bond, of children who grew up together. That bond has done much for us all in the war. I don't understand how it works, but you are connected by it and you will need to find a way to work with this man whom you once thought was your enemy."

Severus had a thought. "Would you like to see the place she grew up?"

Harry broke the stare and considered. "You can take me there?"

Severus put his hand on the younger man's shoulder and looked at Barbara.

"I'll be in the potions dungeon," she said. She would not intrude on this moment and apparated back to Hogsmeade.

* * *

She had graded every paper from the past week, checked every student potion, and had moved on to her personal research when he returned to the castle.

He blew into the room and then stopped, unsure of himself. She waited, while he moved bottles of herbs and beetles back and forth on the shelf.

"He _is_ the son of his mother, just as Dumbledore said. Oh, he's still the son of his father, and I could only see that, before...what have I missed, what could we have avoided, if I had allowed myself to see so much of Lily in him?"

"We are not to know that, but supposing you had? If your love for Lily had come out in affection for him, would you have been able to keep it from Voldemort?"

"The Dark Lord...probably not. As it was, he was only too happy for me to hate Harry, almost as much as he, himself, did. Why, after all these months, why did Potter blow up like that?"

"He never knew his parents and tonight he just remembered that loss. When he saw into your memories and understood your actions and reasons, he knew in his mind that you were far less to blame than he thought, but his heart needs to catch up with the rest of him. Look at yourself. You've gone back over your worst memories of the war, trying to make amends or at least make peace. And you haven't done it all the same day."

He pondered it for a moment and then nodded. He looked at her cauldron. "What are you working on, here?"

"Exhaustion. This potion is useless." There were circles under her eyes when she smiled up at him. She waved her wand at the cauldron, emptying and cleaning it. "Give it time, and remember that others need to do the same. It's been a long day."

"Of course. Sweet dreams, Barbara."

"Good night, Severus." She smiled as he left and wondered of what or whom he would dream that night.

_A/N: thank you to those who have reviewed! I've re-worked a lot of this chapter because of your comments and will need to do so for the rest of the story, too. I also just discovered how to enable anonymous reviews, so if you tried before, maybe it will work this time. Thanks for reading!_


	10. Bereavement

_Disclaimer: All JKR's except for a couple of OCs._

"Professor Snape!" He was writing the weekend assignment on the board for his sixth year Defense Against the Dark Arts class when he saw Hughes waving a note for him.

"Ah, Mr. Hughes...are you thinking of joining this class?" Severus turned and fixed the student with a cold stare.

"Oh, no sir! Professor McGonagall asked me to give you this note, right away sir!"

"Well if you must, stop waving it like a snitch and hand it over. That is all, Hughes."

The boy escaped.

_Severus,_

_Please come to my office at once. Barbara's parents have been killed_

_Minerva _

He looked over his classroom. "That will be all. On Monday I also expect to receive 12 inches on why the hexes we studied this week are inappropriate when facing the unforgivable curses. In your _best_ handwriting this time, please." He ran out before the sighs and groans could even start.

He ran to the Headmistress's office. Professor Merrill was sitting on a settee between the Headmistress and Chief Auror Monroe.

"Barbara."

She jumped off the couch and threw herself at him. He uncertainly put his arms around her and cradled her head on his shoulder.

"What brings the Chief Auror on this type of call?"

Monroe gave Severus a worried look. "It looks like _avada kedavra_ was used on them. They had been cruciated." Barbara shuddered.

"That's something the Lestranges would do. They're dead, aren't they? Monroe?" His eyes met those of the auror. If they were not dead, Severus was a target. He was startled to realize that Monroe had already known that. Had already known and made arrangements.

"We never did find Rodolphus' body, and then there's Rabastan."

This was a blow. "Is there any indication that they knew Barbara and I were friends? Is this because of me?"

"No," said a teary voice against his chest. "Belatrix had reason to hate me on my own. She swore she would find a way to get even so now her husband is doing it for her. Why did I ever leave them in Basel? Why did I think they would be safe, now?"

"Let's not jump to any conclusions. We'll get the aurors working on this, Barbara" said Monroe. "Proudfoot and Simpson are already on their way over and we'll send a full team that will watch you constantly in Switzerland."

"What can I do?" asked Severus.

"Keep your head down, and I mean it," replied the auror. "You used to be able to go between the two worlds, but now that you're known as being on our side, the Death Eaters who have not yet been captured very likely want to kill you."

"I want to accompany Barbara when she goes to Switzerland."

"It's too dangerous. Have you heard what I said? You can't."

Barbara stood on her own feet and lifted her face. "He's right. It'll be all muggles, anyway. But I wouldn't mind if you came to see me off at the airport. Is that okay, sir?"

"We'll make it okay, although I still don't see why you have to take one of those airplanes."

"My parents' business associates will expect to meet me at the airport in London and to travel along with me on a company plane to Basel. It will just go much easier if I do things that way. I need to get ready. Minerva, I think the students will be fine to have a break from potions for a week while I'm gone. Most of them are actually a bit ahead of my lesson plans for this year. Will you walk me to the dungeon, Severus?" She wasn't very steady on her feet and not very sure that she would be able to see where she was going.

She was deciding between two muggle business suits when he decided to touch a sore subject. "Barbara, what happened with Bellatrix?"

"Why do you keep asking?" She saw something in his face that changed her mind. She sat in an easy chair. "You know about Kings Cross...it wasn't the only time we've met. The night Rufus was killed, they were looking for him everywhere. Bellatrix came to the potions dungeon, _cruciating_ the mixers. She was doing it for fun. I drew my wand and her curse was drawn to me. I thought I would stop breathing, it hurt so badly but a rebounding charm I learned from Professor Flitwick in an advanced class came to mind which sent the _cruciatus_ back on Bellatrix. She looked at me and was about to strike again, but then suddenly was called away. She told me that she would find a way to get me, no matter what."

"Do you draw spells to yourself like that as part of your special skill?"

"That's what Dumbledore told me."

"You must be pretty handy with a rebounding curse."

"Yeah, I suppose...look can we just drop it?"

He could tell that wasn't all, but the door was still shut and it wasn't a good time to push it.

"Severus, I hate thinking that my parents suffered what I suffered. I never told them exactly what was going on, just that I decided to take a sabbatical from the Ministry dungeon to work with them. People take sabbaticals in the muggle world all the time. I can't stand the thought that I let this happen."

He moved over to her chair and knelt down in front of her. "Don't think that way. I've come to realize that evil will find a way whether we help it or not. Let the aurors do their work. Let's find out what really happened before we come to any conclusions."

"Oh, hang it," she decided, "I'll just take both suits. Why not? What are shrinking charms for, anyway?"

He tipped her chin up so that he could see her eyes. "I need to go to my quarters and change. I'll be back in a few minutes and then we can floo to London. Will you be all right?"

She nodded. "Yes. I'll be done with this and changed when you get back. Thank you, Severus. You're a very sympathetic man."

* * *

Barbara arrived back at Hogwarts a week later. Kingsley Shacklebolt accompanied her to Severus' office.

"Severus? May we speak with you?" Shacklebolt was clearly not going to take no for an answer. Severus opened the door to let them in. Barbara was oddly subdued.

"Minister...? Please." He stood aside and let them in. When they were seated around his work table, Severus noticed that Barbara was looking around in embarrassment, everywhere except toward himself.

Kingsley cleared his throat. "Barbara has some secrets and it's become a problem. For the sake of several matters, I have advised her to be more forthcoming with you, and I have given her permission to speak about some matters that might be classified."

Both men looked at Barbara, who was wringing her hands and holding her mouth carefully shut.

Kingsley wasn't going to let it go. "You know about her experiences with Bellatrix Lestrange and that Bellatrix vowed to get even. It appears from evidence we found in Basel that the Lestrange brothers were still carrying that grudge. What she was not allowed to tell you and what is not known, Severus, is that Barbara was secretly trained and commissioned as an auror as part of a special program." Probing black eyes turned on brown ones, which blinked closed in...what?

Kingsley went on. "Very few people, one of them being Monroe, know about this. I asked her repeatedly to join the Order of the Phoenix, but she worried about her parents and we found other ways in which she was extremely useful.

"And furthermore, Severus," Kingsley was saying, "part of the reason I was happy to have her come to Hogwarts was to keep an eye on things here. We've known all along that you might be in danger and it was a nice fit to have an auror on staff. Now that we know that Barbara is an actual target, too, for whatever reason, Monroe has sent a couple of aurors to stay in town, at least until we figure out what's going on."

Severus stood and strode out the door and into the hallway. Kingsley followed. "Look," he said quietly, "it's obvious to me what's going on here. For what it's worth, she refused to give us any information about you except concerning your safety. She's very private, but you're clearly under her skin. Maybe more than she is under yours." Severus raised an eyebrown. "Go back in there. She just lost her parents. Comfort her." More loudly, so that Barbara could hear. "Well, I'll be off, then. See you, both."

Severus walked back into his office. Barbara was sitting on a sofa with her head over her knees. There was a lot to absorb, but he somehow wanted to soothe away her distress. He sat next to her and placed his arm around her shoulders.

"What was it like?"

"Not many people knew that I was being trained. There was a bit of a thing about people with muggle-born status having certain skills. After I was trained, it was my job to get the muggle-born and their family members to safe places. After our rescue, I got the others out and then finished up with my own parents. I had orders to stay away until I was contacted. I was supposed to come help in the event that there was a final all out battle...which I did. After the battle I was back and I was asked to go back into the potions dungeon and continue my observations of the staff.

"I thought that Switzerland would be safer for my parents...the war was over and they weren't in England...it was the only reason I left them. Otherwise, I would have moved them back here. They were enjoying themselves so much. It was like a second honeymoon to them. They lived there before I came along, you see..."

"I'm not very good at this, but I'm going to suggest that you remember how happy they were, how you had that wonderful time with them."

"I know." She sighed and took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Severus, can you forgive me for not telling you about the auror job? It was so unimportant in comparison to my other reasons for coming, really. This was always my dream. I didn't even know that Kingsley would want me to work here as an auror, too, until after."

He couldn't answer. There were so many issues there. Did the ministry really think that he was such a child, after everything he had done, by himself, for himself, for seventeen years? Would they ever really trust him? And Barbara...was she only kind to him because it was her job? Was he a fool for telling her so much about himself, for spending so much time with her, for--?"

"Severus." He saw her lips move but could barely hear her. He looked into her eyes and saw that she had opened the door to her mind.

"You don't have to do this just to prove something to me," he said. For the first time, tonight, her gaze never wavered and he found that he was being drawn within her thoughts.

_He saw her watching himself as a student at Hogwarts, quite often... _

_Then he saw her learning occlumency from Dumbledore..._

_He saw her training as an auror..._

_He saw the night Rufus Scrimgeour was killed, __the battle at Kings Cross with Bellatrix, hiding from the Lestranges in Paris, a laboratory in Switzerland..._

_He saw himself near the willow tree on the morning after the battle..._

_He saw her writing letters at her desk in the Ministry dungeon, looking at a newspaper picture of himself in her desk drawer..._

_He saw her arguing with Shacklebolt over her mission..."He's not a fool, Kingsley! Don't do this without telling him, first!"_

_He saw them both riding the train together..._

_He saw her parents' funeral..._

_He saw Barbara arguing with Shacklebolt again..."Kingsley, I can't tell him NOW. He'll think I've been fooling him, using him somehow..."_

H_e saw himself again and something he didn't understand at all which startled him so much that he allowed his mind to be opened._

_Gently, she probed his emotions, finding the misery of his childhood, the glory of classes, the acrimony of the dealings with his classmates, the horror of working for the Dark Lord, the relief of the end and through it all, Lily...smiling at him, cheering him, goading him, lighting his way. Finally, she saw herself, through concern and affection and a great deal of confusion._

With a small cry, she broke the connection, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."

"Hmm...well, thank you for your trust." He stood up. She looked up, uncertain. He smiled and took her hand, pulling her off the sofa and silently leading her to her own quarters.

He pulled her into his arms, holding her as he did when she had just learned about her parents. He put his lips to her hair and said, "Welcome home. Good night, Barbara." She wordlessly slipped inside.

He walked slowly back to the DADA professor quarters, wondering how he could possibly let her read his emotions so easily. His sleep was troubled that night, filled with dreams of her smiling with him, at Quiddich matches, in Hogsmeade, and in danger, sometimes on his behalf. He finally woke early in the morning and realized the meaning of the last impression he had when he read her mind. She saw her children in his eyes.

_A/N: Thank you to my kind reviewers. This is a much better story because of you. Meanwhile, sorry if anyone finds this heavy on the melodrama._


	11. A Course of Study

_Disclaimer: All JKR's except for my OC._

Severus didn't know what to do in the face of a great passion directed toward himself. It was something he had never known but about which he wanted to learn, so he watched Barbara at every opportunity. Whenever her schedule allowed for it, he invited her to sit together in the library while grading papers. He was always in the Great Hall when she was eating. She finally had to throw him out of sitting in on her potions classes. "Really, Severus. Poor Miss Abbott over there will never learn enough to pass her NEWTs if you don't leave!"

He couldn't stay away and was therefore standing outside her classroom one day when the students filed out and he heard her say, "What may I do for you, Mr. Goyle?"

"We know what you're up to."

"Indeed?"

"You've got Snape under an_ imperius _curse. We want you to take it off."

Severus was on the point of stepping into the classroom when he heard her chuckle quietly, so he waited.

"Mr. Goyle, you are showing the bravery of a Griffindor," she said quietly.

"er..."

"Assuming I am a powerful enough witch to cast that sort of spell on Professor Snape –and thank you for the compliment, by the way -- you should have been terrified to approach me like this. Have you discussed your...theory...with the Professor, himself?"

"er..."

"Never mind, Mr. Goyle. Meanwhile, I've been pleased with your work this year. I think you'll do well on your NEWTs."

Stepping aside to allow the student to rush past, Severus heard a jinx cross the classroom and smash a potion jar. He put his head in the door.

"What was in it?"

"Oh, it was empty. I'm not that mad, just frustrated." She repaired the vial and put it back on the shelf. "You heard? Who could be spreading that rumor?"

"Unfortunately, I can think of one or two. I don't think you're practically invisible, any more."

"Well we cannot expect all the Slytherins to just accept things as they are, now. It must be so hard..." She shook it off and smiled up at him. "Was there something I can do for you?"

"Accompany me to lunch?"

"Is this part of a Slytherin plot to get my guard down?" She laughed.

"No," he shook his head, "It's a just project I'm working on."

* * *

A Quidditch match was always a good time to watch Barbara surreptitiously. She got so involved in the game, even when her own team was not playing. The next match was Ravenclaw-Slytherin, which promised to be a good game this year.

As they walked toward the field, Severus suggested a small wager. "It will enhance our enjoyment of the game."

"Well, all right, what should it be?" Her eyes sparkled in the autumn air.

"How about loser helps winner grade winter exams?"

"You're on!"

They shook hands and separated at the stands. After Halloween, the Headmistress had asked the faculty to mingle with the students during games to avoid unnecessary unpleasantness, so today they sat with their individual houses.

Barbara found herself to be quite busy with her wand, sending _finite incantatem_ at spectators who were trying out various hexes on the players or each other, and confiscating various stinkbombs and other items better kept off of a Quidditch field. However, every time she turned her head toward the Slytherins, she found Severus' eyes on her. She smiled and he turned away just in time to prevent some mischief in his own section.

Walking back to the castle after the game, Severus went over it in his mind, admiring the witch beside him. She was very calm handling the troublemakers of her house, and she exuded a charming delight with the game. Best of all, she was a graceful loser.

"That seeker you Slytherins have is superb!"

"So I expect to see you after dinner in my office with your best red quill?" It wasn't really a question.

"Of course." She smiled up at him and he admired the flush on her cheeks brought on by the weather.

* * *

Grading papers with Professor Merrill became another enjoyable pasttime. She curled right up in a chair by his fire and read the exams intently, often stopping to write comments in the margins. Once in a while she asked a question to be sure of his wishes on the student's answers. Every so often a particularly good or bad answer resulted in a corresponding look on her face. Severus found himself watching the firelight and the student's answers playing across her face.

"What is it?" She looked up and caught him staring.

"You seem so content."

"I have a lot for which to be grateful right now. A beautiful home, a challenging and rewarding job, good friends..."

"So you could be happy with things as they are for the rest of your life?"

"Well, I have certain hopes and aspirations, but if they don't come to pass, then this is lovely."

Having seen into her mind, he thought he understood some of her hopes. He looked at the test he was grading and went back to work. For a long while nothing was heard except the rattling of parchment and the occasional scratch of quills.

"I still don't understand why you won't accept this answer on the third year test."

"Because it's not the right answer."

"But you and I both know this hex would work fine and in the heat of the moment--"

"In the heat of the moment they need to be able to rely on instinct, which is developed by discipline and practice. I would suspect that you don't always rely on your rebounding jinx."

"Of course not. There are established counter-hexes... Oh, I think I get it."

"The thought that one of my students might be harmed or killed because I didn't teach them the discipline to know the right response every time..." He cleared his throat and started over. "There's plenty of time in the advanced courses to teach them different things to try, but I don't want them to be in a situation where they don't immediately have the right answer because they have too many options to think through."

"You're a good teacher, Severus." She got up and stretched. "Well, I've done all your third years, here, and I'm personally done in, so I'll bid you good night and see you tomorrow." She patted his arm as she walked toward the door. "Have a good night."

"And to you, Barbara." He should have walked her to the dungeon, but there was too much running through his mind.

* * *

For her part, Barbara couldn't remember a time in her life when any one person was so interested in her. It seemed that she could feel his eyes on her whenever he was in the room and sometimes even when he wasn't. From anyone else it would have been creepy, but from Severus it was...what? The only problem was that now she couldn't watch him as she was used to doing without having him know.

"What do you want for Christmas?" he was looking intently at her over the _Daily Prophet _one chilly morning during breakfast.

"I could ask the same thing, you know," she responded, suddenly finding her cereal unbelievably interesting. She thought for a moment. "How about if we each select a book that's been important to us out of our own libraries and give it to each other?"

"I like it."

* * *

On Christmas morning, Severus Snape woke to a much larger pile of presents than he was used to getting. He sorted through the types of things one receives from co-workers and students and found a box from Barbara. Inside was _A Practical look at Defense Against the Dark Arts through the Ages, _a book that was extremely hard to find since it went out of print during the recent war _._ He opened the cover and read:

_Dear Severus,_

_I know you could probably write this book yourself, but it was important to me because I received it during training from Alistor Moody. He always said that some of the techniques in here, while so easy, were the most effective, and he liked the way vigilance was stressed on every page. I offer this book as my gift to you, in the hopes that it will help you educate our students but that you will never need to use it. Please take care of yourself._

_Merry Christmas, Severus._

_Cordially,_

_Barbara_

It came from her heart. It was a title he had given up looking for since it had gone out of print. He got up and dressed. He wanted to find out how Barbara liked his gift.

She opened an autographed, first edition _Principles of Potions_ by Horace Slughorn.

_My Dear Barbara,_

_You already know the things this book teaches, I'm sure, since Horace taught you, too. The professor was always good to me and encouraged my love for potions. What was important to me about this book is the way in which it lays out potion making on a sort of road map. You have offered me a similar map of the world in which we now find ourselves, a world in which I otherwise would have been lost._

_Merry Christmas, dear lady._

_As ever,_

_Severus_

She was hugging it to herself, opened to the page where he had written the note, when he arrived at her apartment. She greeted him at her door. "Merry Christmas! I love it!"

"As I love the book you gave to me. And especially the note within it. May I escort you to breakfast?"

"Oh, sure! Just a moment." She was still in her dressing gown and went back to her bedroom.

"Wear something warm," he called after her, "I'd like to go outside for a while."

For the first time in his life, Professor Severus Snape spent a day playing in the snow, sledding, making snowmen, and throwing snow at his companion. After lunch they gathered up all of the students who had stayed at school for the holidays and split into teams for a snowball fight that took the entire afternoon. The students weren't sure of the point, however, with Merrill constantly rebounding the boys' snowballs and Snape constantly exploding the girls' ones overhead.

Later they spent the evening reading together and quarreling over what their latest research results meant and how to proceed with their study. As he walked her to the dungeon that night she suddenly reached up and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you, Severus. I'd been dreading today a little bit because of my parents, but it's really been wonderful. Merry Christmas."

Severus couldn't remember a better day in his life.

_A/N: Again, thank you to my kind reviewers._


	12. Winter Doldrums

__

Disclaimer: All JKR, except for one OC

On a special morning several weeks after Christmas, Severus found a package in his room. The card read, "In memory of a perfect day and to wish you a Happy Birthday." He ripped the wrapping to discover a framed picture of the two of them, standing next to one of the snowmen they made and waving. He looked over at his nightstand and put the picture there, removing the torn picture and letter that had been there.

It was finally time to send an owl he'd been thinking about.

_Dear Harry,_

_Having seen my memories, you will know how and when I came to have this picture and page from your mother's letter. I apologize for taking them, but cannot express the gratitude I feel for having had them during the worst of the war. However, they belong to you and so I here return them._

_Severus Snape_

Since Christmas, they had gotten into the habit of going to one of their offices together in the evening. They graded papers and tests, after which they played chess or read together, often while keeping an eye on their potions research.

This evening was no different, although since it was Severus' birthday they gave themselves a break from grading papers. They were playing chess when Severus' stretched out his arm and his sleeve fell down, showing the mark on his left arm. He lifted his eyes to hers, expecting to find disgust or revulsion but instead saw compassion and sympathy.

"I've done horrible things, Barbara, just to be allowed to carry this mark, and for years afterwards to prove I was worthy of it. It doesn't really carry the enchantment anymore, since the one who placed it there is dead." She got up and walked into the next room.

"I know it's horrible...now that you've seen it, you may think differently of me ..."

"Shush." She was back, having gone to get his bottle of special healing potion and some gauze. She drew him to his sofa, after which she rolled his sleeve out of the way and went to work with the potion, dabbing it along the mark. As she worked, he felt his mind opening to hers and showing, as if with _priori incantatem_, the things had done and endured as a Death Eater. By the time she arrived at the night he received the mark itself, she had tears in her eyes, for those he had hurt and for the pain it had caused himself.

"I don't know if this will make it go away completely," she said as she finished, "It's such horribly dark magic and I don't have the skill for healing that Poppy has. But it's the most powerful healing potion I know. I don't care about the scars on you arm, Severus. They're a symbol of something you had the ability to overcome. What you have been doesn't matter to me anywhere near so much as who you are now and the man you aspire to become."

He couldn't trust himself to speak, but buried his face in her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist. She put her arms around him and comforted him as she would a small child while he wept as he had done the day they first met. As the grief subsided, he lost himself to a sense of comfort he had never before known.

* * *

Rushing to a meeting with Professor Binns several weeks later, Severus noticed Barbara in an unused classroom with a group of students. He backed up to peek. She looked up at him and something in her face told him to move on. He recalled his meeting and hurried off.

Coming back later, he found that the students were gone but that Barbara was seated on a davenport, sobbing violently. He sat beside her at once and gathered her into his arms.

"Oh, Severus," she said, catching her breath but with tears still rolling down her face, "It's so horribly sad..."

He held her for several minutes before she could speak.

"Neville Longbottom and Hannah Abbot formed a sort of club for the students who had lost parents in the war. She asked me to be the faculty advisor for the group. These children have experienced so much...some barely escaped death, themselves. They're living with relatives or friends, some not very happily."

"I'm not sure this group should continue--"

"Oh, but it must! It's helping the children, I know it is."

"But at what cost to yourself? Don't tell me that you're not drawing their pain onto yourself. There's no rebounding jinx that will solve that."

"It doesn't work that way. Anyhow, look at you, telling me to worry about personal cost, after all you've sacrificed and suffered." She looked up at him, smiling through her tears. "Don't you understand? I'm one of those children, too. They can tell me their worries and sorrows and fears because I know them. It will get better, I'm sure. I've heard that the first year after a tragedy is always the worst..."

"I love your care and concern for everyone, but I selfishly need you for myself. I don't know how to share you."

"There's a part of me that belongs to you only, Severus. Surely you know that by now."

Despite the distress of the moment and his own confusion it was a sweet, warming thought. If she was so determined, he would find a way to help.

"I cannot ask you to be less than you are for my sake. Do you have anything this afternoon?"

She shook her head.

"Then, perhaps I can help you bear it?" he said while leaning back into the davenport. He drew her to himself and let her weep for the sorrows of the students, while shedding a few tears of his own.

_A/N: Once again, thank you to my kind reviewers._


	13. Valentines

_Disclaimer: All JKR's except for my OC_

In an effort to promote school spirit, there was a Valentine's dance this year, an event occasionally held during Professor Snape's tenure but fortunately, in his opinion, not often. However, he found that this year he was looking forward to it.

Hoping to secure a date for the evening, he walked into the dungeon as her sixth year's class was breaking up and was suddenly assailed by the scent of roses and lavender.

"What on earth are they making?" he asked.

"What's it smell like?" Barbara looked up at him mischievously. When he didn't answer and even seemed a bit discomposed, she smiled even wider and answered. "Amortentia"

"Oh, of course." He looked over the classroom and noticed that a group of boys in the back had taken advantage of her distraction to create something else.

"Ugh! What a smell! Whatever did you boys do that for? Very clever, but that's not an antidote. Twenty points from Ravenclaw and you will stay behind to clean the mess up!" Merrill had caught them first.

Never taking her eyes of the boys, Barbara asked Severus, "So is there a reason for your visit to my domain?"

"You're very good at that."

"Good at what?"

"You're giving them the death stare but speaking so softly to me."

"Why do you insist upon calling it a 'death stare'?"

"I guess I picked it up when I heard the kids talking after OWLs and NEWTs. You may recall fastening it onto me once. It's quite effective."

The boys finished up and left the room.

The look on her face was quite cheerful, now. "So, to what do I owe the privilege?"

"Do you have a date for the dance?"

"I was hoping to, but the right fellow hasn't asked me."

"What if I asked you?"

"I would say yes." There was that blush again.

"So, may I escort you to the dance, Professor Merrill?"

"I would be delighted, Professor Snape."

They fixed a time to meet and he left. He was just about to the door when she said, "Oh, and Severus?" He turned back. "Sometime you're going to tell me what the amortentia smelled like."

* * *

In actuality, they were both expected to chaperon the dance, but Severus found it infinitely better with an actual date. He and Barbara were sitting together at a table on the edge of the dance floor, He in dress robes and she in a rather daring gown.

They took turns casting withering glances around the room at the students and chatting about the school day. Suddenly, Professor Snape noticed two dancers who seemed to be draped a little tighter around each other than necessary. "We better referee that action. I doubt Arthur and Molly want grandchildren quite that way."

Barbara shouted with laughter and hurried over to put a separating charm on Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter, who had been given permission to visit for the event. Severus admired the way her slim-fitting dress moved as she walked across the room. It was modestly cut, but nevertheless enhanced a pleasant figure. The gored skirt that flounced out from her knees to the floor added to the overall charm. The dress was deep red in honor of the occasion, and she looked magnificent, even with her hair swept up as usual. Barbara was saying something that made the two youngsters blush and then laugh. They resumed dancing with a little space between themselves.

When she returned to the table, Poppy and Minerva were speaking with Severus. "They say we need to dance," he told her. "Do you trust me?"

Brown eyes met black. A dare was given and accepted.

Severus turned back to the older women. "Tell them to play a tango." They slipped away.

"Where did you learn to tango?"

"Buenos Aires."

"What were you ever doing in Bue-"

"Don't ask. It wasn't Ministry or school business."

"I'm not sure I--"

"Trust me."

"Always."

He took her hand and twirled her onto the dance floor, draping her back over his arm. She was light on her feet and followed him well. Then he knew a moment of uncertainty. What was just a dance to him in Argentina was much more personal with Barbara. He couldn't touch her as he would if she were just a dance partner. The solution fortunately presented itself. As the music started he took the needle out of her hair and transformed it into a budding rose, which he used to trace the side of her face and the edge of her neckline, before taking the first steps.

Some people say that the tango is a battle of wills. When Severus and Barbara danced, it appeared that she who followed willingly allowed herself to be dominated by he who led, except that his own will was bent in turn, to such tender care of his partner that it became a contest not of wills but of affection. Those who watched almost felt like intruders and yet couldn't tear their eyes away.

As Severus led her around the floor, into his arms and out, dipping and twirling, Barbara wasn't sure if she was breathing or not. There were only his eyes to see and his arms around her. When she came to herself, she was again draped over his arm and the other party goers were clapping. The two nodded their heads nervously and Severus handed her the rose. They walked back to their table.

"I suppose you could put your hair back up if you like," he said. He was curling a lock around his finger.

She shook her head. "Oh, no. I have many knitting needles, but I've never received a flower from a gentleman before."

They sat in silence and watched the kids dance the last dance. The party ended and the students drifted to their houses.

"Care to take a walk?"

"I'd love it."

They found themselves on the astronomy tower again. As before, they were not the first to arrive.

"Longbottom! Abbott! Five points each from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff!" Snape's eyes flashed.

Merrill looked the two over, coolly. "As I recall, it's after curfew." They were only too glad to escape.

She went right over to the rail and looked out over the grounds. A breeze made her shiver and he came up behind her to lift her wrap from where it had settled over her elbows to place it over her shoulders with a warming charm. He kept his hands on her shoulders and gave over to the luxury of breathing in her hair.

She turned and faced him. "Severus, why have you never kissed me?"

They were standing close, too close. He grasped her shoulders and pushed her arms length away.

"Barbara, I don't know if I can do this. I know that some will attest to a virtual parade of women through my life, but for me there's only been Lily and you know what that involved. I had to save myself, my whole passion, for her. To do what I knew she would have wanted."

"So you don't want me?" _He is not over her, yet._

"NO!" Too loudly. "That's not it. That old passion is spent. But I don't know-- I haven't--" He looked right into her eyes. "I've never done _this_ before. Any of it. Over by the willow, when you kissed me... No woman ever kissed me except my mother, and that was--" He broke off. "Not even Lily. I've never kissed anyone. I'm not sure I can be what you expect." He looked into the distance..

"Oh, Severus," Barbara said, trying to hide her secret happiness. "You've taken my hand so very many times and you comforted me when my parents died and then just the other day... Just now your arms were around me when we were dancing..." She took a deep breath. "Is kissing me really so different?"

"Those things just seemed natural," he replied. "This...it just means too much to me. _You_ mean too much to me."

"This can be natural, too," she said while taking his face in her hands. "What do you expect from me? I've never done any of this either. I wasn't interested as a student, I didn't have much opportunity while I was working in the Ministry dungeon, and since the battle here, there's only been you. It means a great deal to me, too. You have become my whole world."

She raised herself on tiptoe and placed her lips close to his. "I don't know how," he murmured.

"Neither do I," she said, "but I know that we can learn if we teach each other. We were both excellent students here..."

He closed the gap between them and the lesson started.

_A/N: A lot of thoughts on this chapter. It was one of the first that I envisioned when this story came to me and has probably had the most work. I've tried to stay away from movie lines (although I love the way some writers work them in), but when the tango came to me I kept thinking of that line from_ Dirty Dancing _about how the man is in charge on the dance floor if no where else._

_I have also borrowed two lines from the book _A Room with a View_, one in this chapter and another when they were on the train. That's dangerous water, though, due to the actress who played the lead in that movie. ;)_

_And OK, I've read enough stories around here to know that my take on Severus' previous love life is probably not the common one, but it's the only one that makes sense to me. If you disagree with me, please just accept it for the purposes of this story._

_**Thank you, reviewers! Your encouragement has been most kind and your suggestions have been taken to heart.**_


	14. The next day

_Disclaimer: all JKR except for my OC_

Later, a moment or hours, he released her from his embrace and walked her back to the dungeon. He kissed her one last time before walking away, insisting that they needed to get their rest.

Severus hadn't gone to his own rooms, however. He went out to the grounds and took a long walk. Something was pressing upon him, and he wanted to work out the problem before he found his own pillow. Barbara trusted him so much and he knew without asking that she was trusting him to make certain decisions for the both of them. He didn't dare get it wrong, now. As he passed the willow tree he suddenly knew what was right, what he wanted to do, more than anything at all, and he knew there was no reason to wait. He strode back into the castle and to his rooms where he wrote a note and called a house elf.

* * *

Barbara woke the next morning to find that the house elves had placed a daffodil and a note on her nightstand. She sat up and opened the scroll.

_Come see me before breakfast in the place where we first met._

_-S_.

She picked up the flower and smiled, remembering the night before. Then she quickly threw off her bed covers. Time was wasting.

He was too excited to sleep very well and was back at the tree before dawn. He remembered the grief he felt on that springtime day. He wondered at how much warmer he felt today, even with snow still on the ground.

Suddenly, she was there. "Here I am, Severus, as requested."

"I don't know how to do this."

"Let's not start that, again," she smiled teasingly. "Didn't we establish last night just how good a student you are?" Something in his eyes made her more serious. "Severus?"

"Barbara." He kissed her for a long moment, then carefully separated himself from her. "I'm a highly skilled, trained, and experienced Occlumens. I kept my passions hidden from the Dark Lord himself, but with you I feel transparent." His hands were suddenly cold and trembling. She reached for them and held them within her own.

"I have admired you perhaps since that first day under this tree. I love how you have infused my life with optimism in a better world. I love how you think you're plain but you have such an open, giving face and the most glorious hair I've ever seen. I love how you still blush when you say my name, as if it were special to you. You're the person who brings me comfort and when you are hurt I want to comfort you. I -- You do want the whole thing with the marriage and the house and lots of children, don't you?"

Her eyes melted into his. "There's nothing wrong with that, is there?" She took a step forward.

He took the knitting needle out of her hair and buried his hands in the rich brown as it tumbled around her. Hiding his face in it he murmured, "Nothing at all." He tilted her face up to look into her eyes. "I love you Barbara. I want it, too. I want all of it. You, the house, the kids, all of it. Are you willing? Will you marry me?" He handed her the needle, transformed this time into a daisy.

She she searched his eyes and saw that his confusion was gone. This was real. "Yes. I love you, Severus. I would be content to be merely your colleague all my life if that was what you wanted, but I am most definitely willing and eager to share all of our lives."

Their faces were close again and the lesson started from where it left off the night before.

* * *

They decided to have their wedding and a short honeymoon during the Easter holidays. It wouldn't interfere with school that way and they didn't want to wait.

"It's not like we're kids, like Potter, there," he said at breakfast. "We have our educations and we're established in our careers already. I've waited too long already for my life to begin."

"Easter break it is, then," she agreed.

They pretended to eat while staring into each other's eyes.

"So what's the deal with you and Shacklebolt? It seems like he's always around. Why me and not him?"

"Kingley? Are you kidding?" She shuddered and laughed. Then she looked at his face again.

"Okay, Okay...I assume you knew Avery and Mulciber?" Severus had the grace to look ashamed. "Well, they had decided to do something to this mudblood and had me cornered, right over there in this hall, in fact, and I was backing up until I bumped into Kingsley. He got rid of them and then we just became friends. I was an odd duck and he was kind of an odd man out, too. Kingsley Shacklebolt was destined to be the coolest guy in school... only it was his misfortune to be a student when James Potter and Sirius Black were here. Anyhow, it's a friendship that's stuck. He practiced DADA with me and I helped him when potions got hard. He helped me at Ministry when it was hard for someone like me to find a job and I try to help him when he can use an auror with potions skills."

"No romance?"

She wrinkled her nose. "We just couldn't feel that way about each other, and even then it was obvious that I'm completely not his type. He needs someone who will be a good first lady of the Ministry. I couldn't stand being in public like that."

"So a life in academia suits you?"

"Perfectly. My parents situation was similar to academia and they were very happy with it all their lives, too. They would be delighted that I have you, now."

He took her hand and kissed it. There was an echoing clank around the room as the students who were awake enough to notice dropped their spoons into their oatmeal.

"By the way, roses and lavender."

"Pardon?"

"The amortentia. That's what I smelled the other day. Now you have to tell me what it smells like to you."

"Don't laugh, but lately it's taken on the leather of your office chairs, and the smell of your fire, and," she blushed, "pumpkin juice."

"Pumpkin juice?"

"It's what I was drinking when someone pointed you out to me as the smartest kid in school."

"You've been in love with me since then?"

"I don't _think_ so, but I was definitely fascinated by you, and by the time you graduated... OK, I'll admit it, more than willing to fall in love with you."

"Imagine me mooning over Lily Evans when the love of my life was right here for the taking."

"What would the world have been if you'd made that choice? Could we have been this happy...with those attitudes toward my blood status?"

"I suppose there are considerations, but right now I'm thinking about a long month and a half until our wedding. If I had only snapped you up then, the wait would be long since over by now." His eyes were smouldering as he rubbed the hand he held clasped between his own.

She shivered, then blushed, and then realized that the hall was emptying. "Whoops! I need to get to my morning class."

"We'll continue this later, then." He kissed her hand again and then watched her out of the room.

_A/N: 80's movie fans will recognize that I was completely channelling When Harry Met Sally above. I was typing it before I realized how much Snape's proposal sounds like Harry's._

_Thank you again to my kind reviewers. It may be a while before I get the next bit up, given that it mostly doesn't exist, yet. _


	15. Word travels

_Disclaimer: JKR's except my one OC._

Minister Shacklebolt pondered the man who once again sat across from him. He looked, if it could be believed, happy.

"What is it, this time, Snape? Haven't I played cupid enough? When are you just going to marry the girl and and let me get back to running the Ministry?"

"The day after the Easter school break starts."

"Are you kidding? That's wonderful news! Not that I haven't expected to hear it." Kingsley stood and shook hands.

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not! I've been trying to set her up on dates for years, she wouldn't even try... You do have to be good to her, make her happy. I've been a sort of brother to her since Hogwarts days and I'd hate to have to fight a hero of the war."

"I have no intention of doing anything different. So you'll come? Will you be our best man?"

"Of course. I'll clear my schedule. This is the best news I've had in days...what are you doing for dinner tonight? Let's go out and have drinks."

* * *

"He's not here, tonight, Barbara."

"Pardon?"

Minerva smiled at the younger witch. "I know you and Severus have barely been separated from each other since Valentine's, but you have to do without him this evening. He told me that he had business in London, but this gives me a chance to have a chat with you."

"Oh, sure..." Barbara kept looking toward the door.

"I wonder if you could focus for just a minute or two? I wanted to get a professional opinion on having auror training here in Hogsmeade, like the Ministry is suggesting."

"Professional, Minerva?" Barbara was in the conversation, now.

"Don't try to be coy with me, dear. Don't forget all the portraits in the Headmistress' office. I've heard quite a bit about Auror Merrill, her training, and her work. It took me a while, but we finally figured it all out. What do you think about this idea?"

Since her story was clearly well known now, she might as well give her honest opinion. "Well, I think it's a good idea, because Hogsmeade is so isolated from Muggles and serious mistakes will be more easily hidden from them. It also adds a layer of protection to the school. The only problem I can see is if there are romantic entanglements with students. It could affect the trainees' ability to focus on their training and on the job. Whose idea was it?"

"Oh, Kingsley's, of course, and he doesn't make rash suggestions. You're right though. We need to consider romantic relationships. Quite a few students graduate and then wait for their future spouses to follow." Minerva drifted in thought. "It can be managed...I shall expect you to act as liaison when the program needs to interact with the school."

"Certainly. I'll be happy to do my part."

Minerva fixed Barbara with her eye. "Speaking of romantic entanglements, dear, how is yours going along? When are we planning to have your wedding?"

Barbara sputtered. "Your sources, Minerva, are impeccable. If you must know, we hope to marry on the first full day of the Easter break so that we can be back from our honeymoon before classes start again."

Minerva was only a little startled. "So soon! I had figured on after graduation...Pomona thought Christmas..."

"There's really no reason to wait."

"You will have it here, of course?"

"There's no place else for either of us."

"That will be so nice and it would be difficult to find anyplace safer. So...Easter break. Filius," Minerva turned to their colleague, "It would appear that you have won the pool."

_Dear Severus,_

_Thank you so much for the carnation you left for me yesterday. They told me at dinner that you had left for London during the evening. Did your business go as you wished?_

_I hope you don't mind that the whole faculty know about our marriage plans, such as they are at this point. They guessed more than they asked. Do you believe that there was actually a betting pool about it?_

_I cannot tell you how I have missed our evening together, tonight. I look forward to seeing you again in the morning when I shall no doubt overflow with the love I can't give you now._

_Your Barbara_

_

* * *

_

My dearest lady,

_I could not let you go another minute without reminding you of my own love for you. By the time you read this, it will only be a few minutes before you will come to breakfast, where I shall be glad to hear all you could wish to tell me._

_My own business went exceedingly well. I will tell you all about it this morning._

_As ever,  
__Severus_

* * *

As it happened, when Barbara came to breakfast, dressed in house colors for a Quidditch match, she arrived to find Severus surrounded by the faculty and several of the school ghosts. As she entered the Hall, a voice behind her started singing "Here comes the bride."

"Oh, give over, Peeves."

"Sorry, Babs, I can't. You're a public property, now, whether as a bride or...what's this I hear about you being an auror?"

"How did you hear that one?"

"All the portraits are talking about it, today. I'm surprised you kept it a secret this long."

"I'm sure the Ministry will love that. Anyhow, sorry, but I'm just going to ignore you so that I can get my breakfast down," she said, flouncing to the faculty table and sitting where she could at least see Severus if she couldn't be near him.

At last the hubbub died down as faculty and students alike drifted out of the Great Hall and out to the grounds. Severus walked over to where Barbara was and took her hand, kissing it before looping it through his arm and escorting her out.

"I've been congratulated nearly to death."

"Surely it wasn't that bad. It's nice to see them so happy for you."

"Perhaps they're just happy for you."

"I'm not the one who was surrounded this morning."

"Didn't you have something to tell me?"

"Only how much I love you."

The first Quidditch match of the spring season was Gryffindor-Hufflepuff so they did not need to go as teachers but could attend as spectators. Barbara was nevertheless surprised when instead of heading directly toward the field Severus pulled her toward their spot by the willow tree.

"Severus, the game is going to start any minute!"

"I know," he said, "but I couldn't wait to do this." He pulled her into his arms and kissed her until she thought she would melt.

"You can kiss me whenever you like, you know."

"That's wasn't it... it's this. Well, first things first," he said, giving her a handful of narcissus.

"Oh, they're lovely!"

"...And really, it's this." Without her realizing it he had placed a ring on her finger, a starburst design made up of small diamonds and emeralds.

"So beautiful!"

"It was my mother's although I don't think she ever wore it. I'm sure my father never knew of its existence. It must have come from somewhere in the Prince family. Mother always said to save it and give it to the woman I marry."

"I'll do my best to live up to it."

"You already do." He drew her close and kissed her forehead. "I went yesterday to Gringotts to get it out of my vault."

"That's where you were."

"I also stopped at the Ministry. I told Kingsley about our wedding. Do you mind?"

"Of course not. What did he say?"

"He's delighted and insisted on going to to tip a few. That's why I was gone so late. He'll probably tell you more, himself. He's planning to stop by sometime soon. He did say that if I made you unhappy, he will beat me up."

Barbara laughed. "It couldn't possibly happen."

"You have such faith in me."

"You told me to trust you."

He kissed her again and it was several long moments before they arrived at the Quidditch game, late.

_A/N: is there anything so obnoxiously sappy as love notes between the newly in love? Thank you to my reviewers!_


	16. Marry in Haste

_Disclaimer: All created by JKR, except my OC_

_Thank you to my kind reviewers!_

It would be hard to say which rumor spread through the school faster, the one concerning the Snape/Merrill engagement or the one about Merrill being an auror. Barbara decided it was no surprise, then, when Neville Longbottom, Hanna Abbott, and Luna Lovegood stayed behind after potions class one day.

"Let me see...what do a Gryffindor, a Hufflepuff, and a Ravenclaw, have in common? What do I win if I guess Dumbledore's Army?" The students laughed.

"Well, professor, we've just been practicing now and again in one of the unused classrooms on fifth floor. Professor McGonagall lets us meet there. We wondered if you could come watch and give us some pointers, you know, as someone who's trained to be an auror," said Neville.

She laughed. "Well, I'll come watch, but I'm not sure what kind of pointers I could give you, from what I saw the night of the battle." She smiled and agreed to meet them.

After watching them practicing for a few minutes, Professor Merrill did have a few pointers here and there, mostly pertaining to discipline. "You would do well to have more economy of movement. The less you wave around the shorter time it will take to cast the spell and the less your opponent will know what's coming." Then, because they were having so much fun, she agreed to spar with some of the students, herself.

After a few exchanges, she found herself slammed back into the padded wall. "That was a good hex. Try it again." She meant to rebound it, but it went around where she expected it to come and she hit the wall again, this time losing her wand.

Professor Snape, having been told that he might find his fiancée on the fifth floor, had just come around the hallway when he saw her wand fly out the door and her voice say, "That is brilliant! You have to show me how to do it!"

Neville showed her, "The basic hex was taught to us by Sn...I mean Professor Snape, our sixth year, but Harry and I worked out this part of it so that the path of the spell actually bends a little bit."

"I want to try that. _Accio_ wand! _Accio_..." The students giggled. Barbara looked around to see that her wand was struggling to come to her but was held in the hand of her future husband, who was standing in the doorway. "Severus! Come see what they've done with your hex! I couldn't rebound it!"

He walked up to her and looked at her carefully. "Are you okay? From the sound, you hit the wall pretty hard."

"I'm a lot tougher than I must look. See what they're doing here."

"I'm well aware of what they're doing. It was all I could do to prevent the Carrows from finding and killing them last year. The harder they fought, the harder I had to suppress them so that they would hide well enough not to get caught."

Neville looked up. "We didn't realize that, Professor. Wow. Thank you."

Luna agreed. "Thank you."

"Thanks, Professor." All the kids smiled their gratitude.

"Well, it's dinner time. I suggest that you all go wash up and head downstairs."

She waited until the students were all gone. "They'll never see you in quite the same way again."

There was no response so she looked up. There was an angry glint in his eyes. "Severus? Is something the matter?"

"Are you hurt? I cannot stand the thought that they've hurt you."

"I'm perfectly fine. You're going to have to get used to this, you know. Most of the time I'm just a school teacher, but some time I may need to be in a battle."

"I don't yet know how I'll react to that."

"How do you expect me to react when it's you?"

He had never had to think about this before.

"I don't know that yet, either."

* * *

As the weeks went on, their routines changed little. They spent the evenings grading papers, working on research, and playing chess or reading together. Since their engagement, Severus usually bid Barbara goodnight with a kiss. Some nights, though, he had to cut it short.

"I don't want us to come together as some sort of grand seduction or loss of control," he said. "For us, it needs to be after we already belong to one another completely. You have placed a great deal of trust in me and I want to do this right."

She took his hands in hers. "You are completely worthy of that trust. I love you so much."

He let out a long sigh. "I love you, too, but I admit I'm looking forward to the time when trust does not apply in this context. It's a long wait until the holiday."

"It's not that much longer. Maybe you should go find some snogging students and give out detentions. That always cheers you up."

He grinned ruefully. "Once again I leave you with a smile on my face."

* * *

Barbara relieved her emotions by working her students hard. They found themselves subject to quizzes and essays to the extent that the older students started wishing back for the days when Professor Snape taught potions.

The students actually started groaning during class during the last week before break when she handed out their assignments for the holiday.

"Oh, calm down or face detentions. You've weeks to work on this and it's all going to help you with your finals. Pity _me_. I have to grade your efforts."

* * *

Students who had stayed over that Easter Holidays forever held it over those who were not there. They had helped to prepare for the wedding and then had witnessed it. It was simple, but they all agreed that it was beautiful in its way.

It started as soon as the train pulled out of Hogsmeade, with helping to put up decorations and ended with all of the students, and ended with the event itself the next morning. They couldn't believe Professor Snape looking like a bridegroom in new dress robes and actually smiling. And Professor Merrill in her white gown... how could she look so lovely and young and happy?

When the officiator near the willow tree said, "...and now I pronounce you bonded for life," a look of sheer delight passed over the groom's face. Those who were there could never quite make those who were not there believe that it happened.

The daffodils had come and gone and the Lilies were in bloom. They joyfully received the congratulations of everyone present as the party moved to the Great Hall. In after years Barbara would look at photo albums in amazement to see how many people she actually spoke with and how many pictures she and Severus were in. In her mind, the whole day had seemed like a blur, with only her husband clearly visible to her.

After a wedding breakfast that neither tasted, consisting of a great many toasts to the happy couple, they were asked to start the dancing. They had hoped to avoid it but it had become inevitable. Once again they danced the tango and once again those who watched were enchanted. After that, they were expected to dance with their guests.

Kingsley claimed the second dance. "Well, Barbara, you have made a lovely bride, at last. All my hard work has finally come to something."

"Listen to you! What about you and that--"

"Oh, well, I cherish some hopes."

"That's coming along then?"

"Yes."

"I hope she's good enough for you. Thank you for coming, Kingsley. You're the nearest thing I have to family."

"I am glad to be here, so long as you're happy."

Barbara waved to her husband as she saw him dancing with Minerva.

After several dances with the guests and faculty, including one rather breathless spin with Hagrid, Severus came with a couple of students. "Barbara, you know Alice and Howard Prewett. They have asked if they may dance with us."

Barbara made a curtsy. "I would be delighted." She took Howard's hands and went out to the floor with him as Severus danced with Alice.

After that all of the students wanted to dance and Barbara laughingly agreed. She enjoyed dancing and chatting with her young partners while watching poor Severus dance, too. Finally, though, he had had enough and came up to her. "Madam, I would be honored."

She smiled, "I thought you would never ask."

He swept her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers and then close to her ear. "Our baggage is in my office. We can floo to the Three Broomsticks and then apparate on from Hogsmeade. If we leave now, we can skip all the rest of this. What do you say?"

She took a look around. "I think the party is in full swing without us. Let's do it." She giggled. "I knew there were good uses for Slytherin qualities."

"My dear, you have no idea." He looked down mischievously.

"I look forward to continuing my education, Professor."

The song ended and someone came to dance with the bride. She saw the groom slip out of the Great Hall and took her first opportunity to excuse herself, too. Severus was waiting in his office, just as he said.

"Are you ready?"

"I had thought of changing..."

"Never mind that. They will come to look for us, soon." They picked up their bags and went to the fireplace.

After several moments of being toasted by the crowd at the Three Broomsticks, they managed to apparate out of Hogsmeade and they were finally on their honeymoon. Their first stop was a cemetery near Manchester.

Barbara put her wedding flowers between her parents' graves. "I wish you could have been with us, Mom and Dad. I wish you could have known this wonderful man. I love you."

They came later to a small inn near the coast. After settling in, Severus came out of the bathroom in his robe to see his wife still standing in her wedding dress, looking uncertainly at the dressing gown she had laid out for herself on the bed.

"Severus, I--" she started, and stopped. Suddenly she was the shy one. He gave her an encouraging smile. "My buttons. Could you help me?"

"It will be my pleasure." He undid her hair so that he could breathe in the scent while he undid the buttons, slowly and carefully, one by one. He traced the line up her backbone and slid his hands onto her shoulders. He could tell she was still nervous. He wanted to reassure her. "Barbara," he said while kissing the base of her neck, "class is in session." She couldn't resist a giggle and turned her head, offering him her lips. Then she was in his arms and they lowered together onto the bed.


	17. A Close Chance

_Disclaimer: All JKRs except for my one OC_

Severus Snape woke several mornings later to the sight of his wife's toes peeking out from under the covers. Today they would be returning to Hogwarts and the start of their life together. He smiled and turned to look at Barbara, whose face was lost in the tangle of her hair.

Not a man to miss an opportunity when it presented himself, he started rubbing her feet.

Barbara Snape rose to consciousness with some ticklish yet incredible sensations down on her feet and lower legs. "What magic are you working down there?"

"I'm trying to decide which of your feet I love better."

"If you come up here I'll show you what I love."

* * *

Some time later, they leisurely walked down the stairs to the desk where their portkey would be waiting, when suddenly Severus pushed Barbara back into the hallway, and into a dark corner.

"Do you have any floo powder?"

"Yes, I have a tin in my pocket."

"Let's go back to our room." Suddenly Barbara saw what Severus had seen: the Lestrange brothers.

The crept back to their room, where they threw powder into the fire and left just as a knock was heard at the door.

They landed finally in the Headmistress' office at Hogwarts. "You've made it. We wondered what happened when you missed your portkey." Minerva was waiting for them.

Kingsley's head came through the fireplace. "The Lestrange brothers have been seen."

"Yes, they were at the inn," said Barbara. "If I'd realized it was them from the first I would have stayed and tried to capture them."

"It wasn't the best time or place. There's no evidence of a centralized power, but they seem to be focusing some kind of plan on you two. We're calling a meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. They are Death Eaters, and we want to consider all of the possibilities that this may somehow be connected to Voldemort. You're in this now, Barbara. You have to join the Order."

Barbara nodded her head. "Where are we meeting?"

Minerva looked at Severus. "The same place as before. I'm the secret keeper at the moment. I'm sure you will want to go to your quarters to pull yourselves together, but we expect you to follow us and meet us there in half an hour."

They both answered. "We'll be there."

It wasn't long before they were walking hand in hand through the school gate.

"Hello, Barbara, and you too, traitor. Sorry we missed you at the coast."

Severus barely had time to push Barbara behind him before Rodolphus Lestrange placed him under an _impedimenta_ curse. He could see Rabastan starting to say _avad-_ when suddenly a light came from his wife's wand and Rabastan's curse rebounded back onto himself. The _impedimenta_ was lifted. Rodolphus looked at his brother's body and then faced the couple again, but not before Severus bound him with a curse of his own. He grabbed his wife around the waist and turned to apparate.

When the door of 12 Grimmauld Place opened, Kingsley had a teasing smile on his face. "We shouldn't have rushed the newlyweds--" Seeing Barbara's face, he asked, "What happened?"

"We ran into the Lestrange brothers just outside the gates."

Kingsley looked from one to the other. "Give me a minute. I'll find out what's going on." He went to the kitchen and flooed out of the house.

Barbara stopped Severus in the hallway. "We didn't have to rush off like that. We could have made sure he was captured."

"I wanted you safe, away from there."

"Hello, _I'm_ the auror on assignment to protect _you_!"

"Not since months ago, and by the way, Mrs. Snape, have I told you good morning and that I love you?"

She pulled his head down and kissed him fiercely. "When I saw that curse..."

"Nice wand work, by the way."

"You're quite talented, yourself, and this isn't done. We needed to catch him!"

"I've never been in a situation like that with someone I loved. It's not the sort of thing I practiced for as a Death Eater. My instincts told me to get you out of there."

"It sounds so sweet, when you put it like that..."

* * *

When they arrived in the kitchen, several small conversations stopped.

"Can I get you anything?" asked Molly Weasley.

"Yes, some tea, please," said Barbara.

"Coffee, if you have some, Molly," said Severus.

"That's fine. I think there's room for the two of you down at that end of the table."

As they sat, they were greeted by Molly and Arthur Weasley and their children, Ron and Ginny, as well as Harry Potter, Hermione Grainger, and Minerva McGonagall, among several others. Kingsley came back.

"The aurors we had assigned in Hogsmeade found Rabastan's body. I'm going to guess that they will find a rebounding curse when they check your wand?" Barbara nodded. "Rudolphus gave them the slip."

Everyone looked at the table for a minute.

Kingsley Shacklebolt cleared his throat and said, "Let's begin by saluting our newlyweds: Severus Snape and his charming bride, Barbara Merrill Snape."

"Hear, hear!" was said all around the table. Barbara blushed and didn't know where to look.

Kingsley looked at his notes. "Chief Auror Monroe is not a member of the Order, but he has a loose understanding of our activities. It is my intention to keep it that way so that the organizations will remain separate, at least under the current circumstances."

"On to what brings us here. Some Death Eaters have been active lately, with their activities centered around the Snapes, here. We're not sure if it's just the Lestrange brothers or if others are involved. Severus is an obvious target and we have known that since the battle at Hogwarts. Barbara is a bit confusing, but she does appear to be a target in and of herself."

"Actually, I may know something." Everyone turned to look at Hermione Granger.

"Really?" said Kingsley

"A legal case turned up, and it involved tracing some family records through portions that have been removed from those families' trees. I had to wade through the birth records at St. Mungo's. It seems that Barbara Merrill's parents were both squibs. Barbara's mother, Bertha, was the sister of Albert Runcorn and Richard Merrill was a cousin to the Lestrange brothers, or rather their father.

"The Lestrange cousins had a common grandfather who never thought his family would produce a non-magical heir, so he placed the family fortune in such a way that all the grandchildren stood to inherit an equal share. Not wanting to let that much money slip away, the Lestranges started looking for ways to remove the Merrills from the family legacy legally. Meanwhile, they started looking for ways to kill the Merrills, starting by using Umbridge's inquisitions. If they could kill the entire family, they would not have that competition for the family treasure."

Those sitting at the table absorbed the information. Severus looked at his bride. "My dear, it would appear that your blood is purer than we ever thought and you're an heiress, too.

Kingsley looked around the table and pondered this. "So we're dealing with common criminals and Snape is possibly not a target?"

"Common criminals who happen to be Death Eaters," said Harry. He cleared his throat. "I'm not sure how good this information is...Draco Malfoy...but he has told me that the former Death Eaters who aren't in Azkaban are waiting for Professor Snape, here, to give some sort of signal, when they will rise again and be more powerful than ever. Not like he was trying to give me information... more like he was bragging."

Everyone looked at the Snapes. "I have no intention--"

"No one who's known you this past year would believe that, Severus. It's clearly the imaginings of some people who are looking to get back into power and attaching themselves to the person who was previously one of their best hopes," interposed Arthur quietly. His wife nodded.

"Thank you, Arthur, Molly. Your confidence means a great deal to me."

"So, if the Death Eaters think that, it means Severus should be safe, at least until they get tired of waiting." added McGonagall. "And if we're dealing with common criminals who are simply after gain," She went on. "It would explain why there have been so few involved, except perhaps why they waited so long to attack again?"

"They were waiting for her to get some place where she was vulnerable," said Ron. "When she went to her parents' funeral, she was surrounded by aurors and since her parent's death she hasn't left the school grounds until last week. The real question is how they knew where to find the Snapes, and the answer must lie with the portkey they had registered to come back today. Someone at the Ministry gave the Lestranges the information."

"Runcorn." Arthur looked angry. "How can a man be so callous toward his own family?"

Kingsley wrote down a note for himself. "I'll take care of it." Looking up, "So where does that leave us? Barbara's true parentage, the hopes that have been mistakenly pinned on Snape, here, what else is there?"

Ron tossed a paper on the table. "There's this."

**Snape/Merrill Nuptials**

_Rita Skeeter_

_The wizarding world will no doubt be eager to congratulate Professors Severus Snape and Barbara Merrill of the prestigious Hogwarts School on their recent marriage. Students of the school will recall Severus Snape as the demanding Potions Master turned dashing hero who helped Harry Potter destroy You-know-who. The bride, now Potions Mistress, is the unknown daughter of muggles who died recently under suspicious circumstances._

_The bride wore her mother's wedding gown and carried roses. The groom wore dress robes. Seventh year student, Luna Lovegood, attended the bride, while our own Minister Shacklebolt acted as best man. Professor Filius Flitwick walked the bride down the aisle to her groom. After the quiet reception in the school's Great Hall, the couple left for parts unknown to take a brief honeymoon._

Barbara laughed. "That's actually kind, for Rita."

Kingsley thought for a minute. "Barbara, what would you say to some well-placed words of truth?"

"Speaking off the cuff, having just learned something my parents kept secret from me...I'm not sure...my grandparents clearly didn't want anyone to know about me. They allowed for their own children to get murdered, though, so perhaps their feelings shouldn't be considered. I'll say yes, depending upon what you are actually thinking."

"I'll let you know. I'll also mention to Monroe that he should keep those aurors in Hogsmeade. Lestrange is wanted, regardless. Well, everybody, keep your eyes open. Anything else? Well then, I won't keep you. I know most of us have other things to do, today."

The room emptied quickly, leaving Barbara and Severus sitting at the table.

She was mentally reviewing her whole life. "It makes so much sense. They were so open and willing for me to go to Hogwarts, not like most muggle parents, who'd never heard of the place. They knew, too. They probably knew what it meant for me to be an auror and they willingly took all those risks. They knew what was going on and arranged things so that I could easily get them away. And their estate was so well put together. Everything was in perfect order. How could I have not realized?"

"Were you in the habit of disbelieving your parents?"

"No...but now I don't know what to think. What will I tell our children about their grandparents?"

"The truth, as well as you know it. Just as I will about my parents," he said with a long sigh. "Your parents probably knew that their families wanted them dead all along. You know those families."

"I wonder if my relatives have much of a clue about me or even care. They must have known that I got married. Of course they know. They used the information against me."

He took her hand and kissed it. "Speaking of our recent marriage, would you be interested in going home, Mrs. Snape? There were some lessons I was hoping to... review... if you have the time."

"Why certainly, Professor."

"Potter!"

"Professor?" Harry stuck his head through the door.

"We're going to leave now. Is it okay to use the floo from here?"

"Yes, that's fine...and congratulations and best wishes on your marriage and all, Sir, Mrs. Snape."

"Thank you, Mr. Potter," said Barbara. "We look forward to seeing you in a few weeks for graduation."

_A/N: a word about timing. As far as I can tell, Easter was the 4th of April in 1999, which is the year this would have been. However, in my experience most schools try to keep the spring/Easter break within a fairly consistent time span, usually starting the last week of March. So in my mind the wedding would have been the week before actual Easter, probably the 27th of March._

_Thank you to my kind readers and reveiwers._


	18. Graduation

_A/N: All JKRs except for one major OC and a couple of minor ones._

Full spring came, and with it graduation. The first of the two commencements was held on the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. Last year's seventh year class all returned from their jobs and advanced training to attend. They were housed in their old house rooms for one last week and had the run of the school.

As often happens with returning graduates, the school had changed in their absence and they all looked around carefully to inspect the differences. The marriage of their most feared professor was their greatest shock and topic of conversation.

"So Neville, what's it like to have Snape married? Do you see them snogging in the halls?" Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas wanted all the details.

"Well, they can't keep their hands off each other, but it's not like that, at all. It's all little touches and stares. He always takes her arm when they go up or down stairs, and they reach for each other's hands when the other one comes into a room. And I'm not sure, but I think he gives her a flower every day. But I've never seen them snogging in the halls." Neville had clearly been looking.

"The day she practiced with us in DA, he came up and looked at us as though we were trying to murder her. Not that we would have gotten the chance. She's good, and fast."

"Is Merrill as tough as Snape is? We got that stare from her during my potions NEWT."

Neville thought for a moment. "She helped us start a club for students who have lost parents. Hers were killed last fall...somehow when the meetings are over, we all feel better about things. On the other hand, she's not just nice. You need to work really hard in class with her.

"Merrill's just as tough, she frowns just as much, and she can be just as sarcastic as Snape, but when class is over and you've done well, she's always got a kind word or a pat on the arm for you. For that matter, Snape's nicer outside of class, too. But don't do anything to get on detention with either one of them. I've heard that they're cleaning out dungeon 4...or rather making the kids on detention do it. And _never_ be in between them when they quarrel." Neville shivered.

"What happened?"

Neville wouldn't say, exactly. "Let's just say that she can throw a hex without looking and that the DA has learned a lot by watching them trade jinxes. I heard McGonagall tell them that if they ever disrupted a meal again, she would deduct house points from Slytherin and Ravenclaw."

* * *

The Snapes were also discussed in the Slytherin common room.

"Now that we know her true blood status it's obvious what happened." Draco Malfoy was holding forth. "Professor Snape knew about it all along and this is part of his plan to help the Death Eaters rise up again."

Goyle wasn't convinced. "He's been acting so nice to the other houses. Not like the good old days when he gave them all the hard detentions."

Draco smiled, "That's the plan. If we all seem to go along with the others, they won't expect it when we finally rise up and take what is ours." He looked around the room, noting that several seemed to agree but not all.

"Or, perhaps, Draco, the Professor and his wife would just like to live their lives peacefully in a world without worry about the next war."

Everyone was startled to see Professor Snape in their midst.

"Indeed, Mr. Malfoy, perhaps the Professor and his wife would not appreciate being discussed in this manner."

The room emptied while the young man exchanged a glare with his mentor's more sardonic expression.

"Draco, you were weary of being a Death Eater at this time last year."

"It got messed up, but we can do it right, now."

"The only way to get it right is not to do this at all. There are many ways to have power, Draco. Dominating some people while abusing others won't accomplish it, not really. It's far too exhausting to keep that sort of thing going."

"I'm not just going to bow down to Harry Potter," spat Draco.

"Nor would I expect you to do. Nor do I do it. There's a vast difference between that and what you propose. I suggest you look for a middle path. Potter does not want to subjugate those who lost the war. He wants all parties to work together. As does Minister Shacklebolt."

"You've been brainwashed, Professor."

Professor Snape sighed. "At the very least, you should pick a better site for your gatherings. This school is friendly to Slytherins but not to Death Eaters."

* * *

The night before graduation, a special meeting of Dumbledore's Army was held in the fifth floor classroom.

Harry wanted one last chance to speak to his friends, classmates, and housemates.

"I just wanted to thank you all for your hard work, patience, and perseverance. During the battles here at our school it was our group that showed what Hogwarts is about. I want to specially thank Neville, here, whose bravery in keeping you going and during the last battle made the victory possible. Thank you all."

Everyone applauded, turning to Neville to include him.

"I also wanted you to know that there is still work to be done, and to ask that you consider working as aurors or joining the Order of the Phoenix. Meanwhile, enjoy the feast!" Harry said, while the tables in the room filled with food.

While everyone was milling around, Harry caught Neville's arm. "Can I speak with you a moment?"

They went out into the hallway.

"Neville...I don't think you ever knew this, but when you killed the snake, you really did make Voldemort's destruction possible."

"Harry, I just killed a snake. You killed the most powerful wizard of our time."

"A piece of Voldemort was alive in that snake. Actually, in killing the snake, you made sure that he could not come back to life again. You're a hero, Neville. You accomplished what your parents worked for."

Neville couldn't speak. He was suddenly exhausted and invigorated all at once.

"Anyhow, I've been asked to see if you, specifically, want to train with the aurors. We can use great men like you."

Neville shook his head and smiled. "Thanks, mate, I'll think about it, but I really want to work in herbology."

* * *

The next morning dawned bright and fair. The students filed onto a podium set up near the grave of Headmaster Dumbledore. It was a joyous occasion, but solemn, as well, and more than one parent shed a tear as they watched their grown-up children come in.

Headmistress McGonagall gave the final address:

"Young men and women, today you officially receive your graduation from Hogwarts School. Unofficially, you fulfilled that accomplishment a year ago today when you fought here so valiantly. I was never so proud of a graduating class as I have been of you and the underclassmen who fought along side of you. Each of you has accomplished great things and I believe every one of you will accomplish more great things in your lifetime.

"Never forget the evil you conquered. Never forget that evil will find new ways to return to our lives. If each of us individually works to combat that evil, especially within ourselves, we will always be victorious. You have also found that if all of you work together, you will find great strengths. Never forget that.

"We will always honor your hard work and bravery and also honor those of your friends who were lost forever in the Battle." She stopped for a moment and then went on.

"You came here, almost eight years ago, now, and were sorted into different houses. You have learned and competed from those houses, but last year you fought together as Hogwarts. We therefore send you out into the world not as Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin or Hufflepuff, but as Hogwarts graduates. Hogwarts, all!"

"HOGWARTS, ALL!"

Everyone rose to their feet and joined the cheer.

"Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, I present to you the graduating class!"

There were many emotions at the feast in the Great Hall. It was a joyous occasion but it was also the anniversary of a terrible battle, at the scene of that battle. Most of the parents had not been back since that day. It was still arranged almost as before with the tables for each house under house banners. However, in the space where Voldemort's final spell had destroyed him forever, there was a new monument.

The Board of Governors had wanted to erect a statue of Harry Potter, but Harry had asked to have a statue that reflected the lives that were lost and the bravery of all who had fought. Therefore, in the middle of the circle was Headmaster Dumbledore, surrounded by the many who had died to save Hogwarts from the enemy: Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Fred Weasley, and all of the others. The plaque for the monument read, in part: IN GRATEFUL MEMORY TO THOSE WHO WORKED AGAINST DARKNESS FOR THE SAKE OF HOGWARTS SCHOOL.

Wandering through the school, several visitors came upon the swamp created by the Weasley twins on the day they left school. It had been kept in their honor, and now had a new plaque of it's own: MAINTAINED IN MEMORY OF FRED WEASLY WHO WITH HIS BROTHER GEORGE CREATED THIS SWAMP IN DEFIANCE OF OPPRESSION.

* * *

Severus and Barbara had waved the Hogwarts Express back toward London and were turned back toward home. They quietly discussed the events of the day, including the look on Molly Weasley's face as she stood gazing at the plaque by the swamp. As they were walking toward the school, they discovered a house that was for sale.

"Look at how close to the school it is!" Barbara said. "It could be perfect for us!"

"Yes...I'll send an owl to the agent tonight."

"Severus...if we can buy the house...I would like to do something." She outlined her idea. "I'd like to offer a home to children who are orphaned by the war during the holidays and vacations. Some of them don't have a very good situation."

He smiled down on her. "I think that could work...and I think it would use that skill of yours to good advantage...do you think we could start with Slytherin students?"

"That's a wonderful idea."

"I love you for thinking of it."

_A/N: thank you to my kind reviewers! An adjustment was made to the graduation speech, due to a suggestion from reviewer Mark Darcy._


	19. Not Unexpected

_Disclaimer: All JKR's except for my OC._

On a bright spring day, having the afternoon off, Professor Severus Snape walked toward the dungeon to see if his wife wanted to take a walk on the grounds. As he got to the last hallway, he heard a loud bang, his wife squeak, and then a thump. He ran the rest of the way to discover a dismayed Luna Lovegood, a smoldering cauldron, and his wife in a heap on the floor.

"What happened? Was anyone else in here?" His eyes were blazing.

"I don't know. I was helping to make the test potion for the OWLs this week and all of a sudden it exploded and she fainted. No one else was here."

"Did she get any on her?" He was kneeling beside her, looking for injuries.

"I don't think so."

He looked in the cauldron and saw that it was inert.

"Do you think you can clear this up?"

"Yes sir."

He scooped his wife up and carried her to the hospital wing.

"Severus..."

"I'm here, Love. We're on our way to see Poppy. Are you hurt?"

She shook her head. "So dizzy."

"Almost there. POPPY!" He yelled for Madame Pomfrey.

"What's happened, Severus?"

"She's fainted, a potion went bad on her..."

Poppy Pomfrey snorted. "Classic. Here, set her down on this bed. Are you awake, Barbara? Good. Okay, Severus, I'm going to examine her while you wait out there." Before he knew it, he was on the other side of a shut door.

A few minutes later, Madame Pomfrey came out of the room, smiling enigmatically.

"Is she okay, can I see her? What's happened to her?"

"She's fine, Severus... What were your plans for starting a family?"

"We wanted to welcome life into our lives whenever it comes, now that--" It suddenly occurred to him. "You mean?"

"You have been married almost a month and a half, now."

"We're-- She's-- _a baby?_"

"Congratulations, Severus, you and your wife are going to be parents."

"Poppy! That's wonderful news!" And he picked her up and kissed both her cheeks.

"Severus! What happened? Some students told me--"

"Congratulate us, Minerva, dear girl! We're going to have a baby!" He embraced her, too.

The two ladies ran into the room to see Barbara. She accepted their congratulations with a smile, but her eyes searched those of her husband, who stood by the door, a look of great contentment on his face.

Professor McGonagall finally left and Madame Pomfrey fussed around Barbara for several more minutes. "I think she's well enough to return to her own room for a good night's sleep. The potion going bad is something some witches struggle with. Sometimes it resolves itself after a few months, sometimes it takes the entire pregnancy. You may want to find other ways to prepare your classes."

"We'll work it out. The term is almost over."

They were finally alone.

Severus sat on the side of her bed and kissed her thoroughly. "Severus, are you pleased?"

"Nothing could give me greater delight," he said, drinking in the sight of her.

"I'm so glad. Poppy was asking questions and then I realized..." A thought came to her. "It's not the best time."

"With Death Eaters chasing us? I cannot think of a better time to share so fully in life."

"Such optimism! I love you."

"And I, you."

Had the recently graduated Gryffindors been in the hospital wing right then, they would have seen the Snapes snogging in earnest.

_A/N: Long ago, a coworker told me a story about how her family had come to Thanksgiving dinner expecting her trademark apple pie and after having one bite, which was not good, the co-worker's mother looked at her and said, "You're pregnant." Apparently in their family there was a tradition or old wives tale that a pregnant woman can't bake very well. I've never heard that one elsewhere, and it's not my own experience, but it seemed like a fun sort of "symptom" to give poor Barbara._


	20. The Term Ends

_Disclaimer: All JKR's except for a few OC's_

OWLs and NEWTs finished, and a long year of education at Hogwarts finally ground to a close. During the last couple of weeks before Graduation, recruiting agents from Ministry and all types of businesses descended upon the school. The Snapes took advantage of a return owl from the realty agent to escape the castle.

They had made arrangements to meet with the agent at the house they saw on the way. They were stopped by another wizard as they left the castle. "Chief Auror Monroe! What brings you here, today?"

"Well, Severus, Barbara, we have news. We think you're safe now. It would appear that the Death Eater sympathizers have decided that you are working with the Ministry and school until some point at which you will give a signal and they will rise again. Somehow, Barbara, newly emerging information on your family connections has only encouraged this.

"We think, in the short term, that this protects you, Severus, although you need to be careful not to say or do anything that can be misconstrued--

"I know what signal they are looking for. It is neither within my ability nor my desire to produce it."

"So much the better. I still wanted to discuss some details with you."

"If you gentlemen don't mind, I'm going to see a house." Barbara walked down the lane, her husband watching her every move until he couldn't see her any longer.

* * *

"Mr. Hammond? I'm sorry I'm late. I'm Barbara Snape."

"Pleased to meet you, my dear. Which would you like to see first...inside or out?"

"My husband should be right behind me. Why don't we start outside and look inside when he catches up?"

"Certainly, certainly." He opened the gate and held it open for her, following her in.

* * *

Monroe went on and on about the need for constant vigilance with the Death Eaters. Snape's eyes flashed darkly when he realized that Monroe hadn't mentioned the Lestranges. "When are you going to get to Rudolphus Lestrange?"

"Well, that wasn't what I came to discuss."

"You mean she's not really safe yet and I let her go down the lane by herself with no protection? We have to go!" Snatching the collar of the Chief Auror's robe, he started running down the lane. They saw flashes of light around the corner.

"Here, let me go get backup," said Monroe, preparing to apparate.

"You do that," said Snape as he ran even faster.

* * *

"And look at this knot garden! Just the place to grow herbs--" she stopped as she saw the unconscious body of the agent and turned around just in time to see Rudolphus Lestrange's polyjuice potion wear off.

"Or to be buried in, dear Cousin Barbie."

She barely had time to ward off his death curse, and sent him a hex of her own. He parried that and tried again. Finally she was able to avoid a _cruciatus_ and locked him into a body bind. "Why are you doing this? _Expelliaramus!"_ She knelt to take his wand from where it had fallen on the ground.

"For the money, of course. Even if I'm a fugitive from justice, Gringott's will let me have it and I'll find a small island country somewhere to terrorize. Of course, _cruciating_ your parents was a bonus. They told us about your appointment at Hogwarts. All your Uncle Albert knew was that you weren't at the Ministry any more."

"Barbara! Thank goodness!" Severus came around the corner of the house.

"We need to contact the aurors to come get him."

"They're right behind me."

Barbara saw her husband holding his wand and pondering...

"No, Severus, it's not worth it."

"Hmmm?" He kept his wand pointed at Lestrange.

"You haven't used an unforgivable spell since the night Albus Dumbledore died. You're finished with that. Don't be that person...Severus?"

"He tried to kill you."

"But he didn't succeed and he won't succeed."

He used _stupefy _instead. When the aurors arrived, Rudolphus was covered in ropes. Barbara handed Monroe the captured wand.

"Monroe, make sure this is the end of it." Severus gave him a severe look.

Barbara waited until the auror walked away. "He's a competent auror, but isn't very good at managing multiple things at once. He'll be up for retirement in eight or ten years. I think he's a place holder until young Mr. Potter gets trained and seasoned," she said quietly.

"Is that the job Kingsley tried to get you to take?"

She shrugged. "No, he wanted me to be part of his personal security detail. Like I'd rather babysit him than three hundred students."

He took his wife over and sat her down on a garden bench while some aurors took Rudolphus to the Ministry office and others came to work on Mr. Hammond and wake him back up.

He started looking for injuries. "Are you hurt?" She smiled and shook her head. "Is, is _everything_ fine?"

She smiled and kissed him. "Yes, I'm fine and I'm sure our little one is fine, too. He never laid a spell on me. Nice job with your wand, by the way."

He kissed her back and put his arms around her. "You had quite a duel with him. I could see the sparks from well up the path. Barbara, I don't think I can handle it if you work as an auror very much. My heart stopped when I saw that flash of green."

"Ahem." Suddenly Monroe was standing before them, Mr. Hammond right beside him. "Well, we've got this sorted out from here, now, so we're going back to Ministry. Simpson will stay in town to keep an eye on things." He stepped away and apparated.

"Mr. Hammond, we're so very sorry. Are you feeling okay? Will you still be able to show us inside the house?" Barbara stood and held out her hand.

He smiled and shook her hand. "Oh, I'm fine, I'd be delighted to do so." He rattled his keys and they went around the house to the front door.

* * *

Several days later they went to an Order of the Phoenix meeting. Severus stopped to speak with Harry in the hallway while Barbara went on to the kitchen to see if Molly needed help. The others were scattered around the house.

"Molly has stepped outside for a few minutes." Kingsley Shacklebolt was sitting at the table. "So, Barbara, how is married life treating you?"

"Aside from the way our honeymoon ended, it's been a delight in almost every way. I have a most attentive husband. Uxorious, even."

Kingsley looked embarrassed. "So... everything is going well?"

"Chatting up my wife, Minister? It's about time your administration had a scandal." Severus and some of the others came into the kitchen.

"Actually, I've been pondering marriage, myself, lately..."

"Oh, silly me, I thought we were here to discuss the Lestrange thing, but we're actually here to give Kingsley advice on his lady friend." Barbara reached around and took her husband's hand as he sat down.

Molly came back in with her own husband.

"Can I help you, Molly?" Barbara got up.

"I think everything is fine, if you would like to help carry—oh, no, gracious. You just sit down, dear." Molly's eyes twinkled. "We can't have you exhausting yourself."

Dinner was served.

"So where were we?" Arthur asked.

"Kingsley's love life," answered Ginny.

"Actually, I thought we might want to have a meeting to sum up the Lestrange affair," said the exasperated Minister. "Minerva, we should keep up a level of vigilance around the school. I would like to go ahead with that training program, and of course we will need to discuss that in a more official venue, with Monroe and all."

"I'm agreeable to that, and I'm sure the Board of Governors will be, as well," said Minerva

"What will happen to Rudolphus?" Barbara wanted to know.

Hermione was saying, "Hogsmeade is particularly well suited to such a program since so few muggles travel through."

"Exactly," said the Minister.

"Kingsley, what are you going to do with Rudolphus? And Albert Runcorn?"

"Before, they would have been sent to Azkaban for a dementor's kiss. Murder for material gain is pretty cut and dried and of course Lestrange had committed plenty of crimes before that."

"I don't want them killed on my behalf."

"Don't start that again...you are too kind hearted, which is the only real complaint I have ever had about your work."

"I want them in prison for the rest of their lives, but I don't want that life ended prematurely. I want to show some mercy. I want to prove that we're better than that. I'll speak before the Wizangemot if I have to. My present happiness," she grasped her husband's hand, "was due in part to an act of mercy in that chamber."

"That jury held that your husband was not guilty of the crimes of which he was accused and that the lesser crimes were due to his special position helping our side."

"Kingsley, please do what you know is right. It will go further to heal the differences between those who won the war and those who did not."

Harry said, "I think she's right."

"Thank you, Harry, but we can't stop all of the criminals with _expelliarmus_. You've already been warned about that sort of thinking." Kingsley was somewhat dismissive.

"It was the right spell when he used it before, and it's the correct approach, now." Severus spoke up. "If the discussions between the students in the Slytherin common room reflect the attitudes of the parents, then we need to go out of our way to prove that we're not trying to beat down the Death Eaters and sympathizers, but that we want to bring sufficient justice where it is needed."

Kingsley shook his head. "I don't see how it will go over," he started to say as he realized that Barbara was giving him that look.

He sighed. "I'll consider it and speak with the Wizangemot. Moving on to the Death Eaters and their aspirations..."

After the meeting, Kingsley asked to speak with Severus for a moment. While Barbara watched them go into a different room Molly sat down next to her with a cup of tea.

"So when is the baby due?"

"Poppy says January...How could you possibly know?"

"You're just different today. Are you pleased?"

"Very much so. And Severus...you wouldn't believe. He kissed both Poppy and Minerva the day we found out."

"It's marvelous news. You know our grandchild was born the same day as the graduation. They'll be just a year apart at school...Oh, and there's the proud father! Congratulations, Severus."

Severus' smile did not go all the way to his eyes. "Thank you, Molly."

"What's this? You know I claim firstborn as a godchild." Kingsley put his head in the doorway.

"You know I said I'd have to talk it over with my husband," responded Barbara.

Everyone came back to the kitchen to offer congratulations, which soon became trying for Severus. Taking his wife's hand, he said, "Actually, we need to be going. We'll be seeing you later." He walked her out of the house and pulled her close to apparate before the door was fully closed behind them.

* * *

They arrived in twilight in a dingy mill sort of town.

"This is the best time of day, here, when you can't really see the dreariness of it." he sighed, walking her up a hill and onto a cobbled street. "Welcome, my dear, to Spinner's End...my childhood, and occasionally my adult, home."

He brought her into the house, stopping in the library, where he started a fire in the fireplace.

"What a wealth of books!" Barbara exclaimed. She curled up in the chair closest to the fire. He sat across from her and looked into the fire.

"This is the nicest room in the house, where I promised Narcissa Malfoy that I would help her son kill Albus Dumbledore and where I promised that failing all else, I would do it myself, while Bellatrix Lestrange watched and acted as Bonder to an Unbreakable Vow. Peter Pettigrew was probably listening at a keyhole somewhere.

"I sit here and all of the worst things about my life come crashing back down upon me. I look at you and it's as if they never existed." There was something sarcastic in the way he was speaking and yet something else plaintive as well. Barbara wasn't sure where any of this came from nor where it was going.

"Would you like to live here? To raise our little one here?"

"You would, if I asked you, wouldn't you?" Definitely sarcasm.

"I'm sure we could make this _our_ home and fill it with _our_ love and happiness."

"It would be a challenge. As far as I remember, it's known precious little of either quality." There was something in his eyes as they looked into the fire that made her heart break for him.

He turned to his wife. "I've been talking to Kingsley...he's told me about Alice and Howard Prewett... You remember from our wedding? They're Slytherin and their parents were killed by Death Eaters who questioned their loyalties. They're in your club, of course you know them. I knew their parents, naturally, although they never did join the Death Eaters...What if we started with them?"

"They are wonderful children, but isn't that the cart before the horse?"

"No, actually, an owl came this morning. It looks like our offer is going to go through and we can move into the house in a couple of weeks."

"You mean the one in Hogsmeade?"

"Yes." He was smiling now, but again the smile didn't go all the way up to his eyes.

"What about this house?"

"I think I'll keep it a little longer, but it is not really a home to me."

They sat in silence for a while. Barbara waited, trying to read the expression on her husband's face, but he was inscrutable. She had never in the year of their acquaintance seen him behave this way, so distant, so closed off. Finally he stood and put out the fire.

"Let's go home."

Barbara stood and put her hand on his arm. "What is it?"

"Just visiting the past." He pulled her close and buried his face in her shoulder. "The present is far preferable, and what will the future bring?" He took her hand and they left the house.

_A/N: Just one more chapter to sort of sum things up. Thank you so much to the reviewers who've commented on this. I really apreciate your thoughts._


	21. Final Graduation

_Disclaimer, All JKR's except for a few OCs_

Graduation for the seventh year class had to be held in the Great Hall due to the threat of rain. The hall was arranged with a dais for the students to sit on and seats for the families and friends. Above their heads, the ceiling showed the blue sky that nature had not seen fit to provide.

The weather notwithstanding, the general atmosphere of this event was less somber than the previous one. Minerva's speech this time reflected that.

"We, your professors, are very proud of you young ladies and gentlemen of the graduating class...You are the first class to graduate in a new era. This year has not been an easy one but it has been a good one. You have all worked hard, some of you had to catch up previous studies as well as complete your seventh year, and you have made adjustments that no one should have to make, certainly not as students.

"You have also re-established what the normal routine is here at the school. In setting the example for the younger students to go to classes and attend to your educations, you have won a different sort of battle, one that proves that the world we love was worth saving.

"You have fought valiantly along side of your elders and have earned the right to be called heroes. Some of your original number are not graduating with us today, due to their great bravery and sacrifice. When you are tempted not to live up to what this school stands for, remember them and stiffen your resolve."

She stopped and looked around the room.

"Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, may I present our graduating class!"

The assembled crowd cheered.

* * *

Eventually September 1 came around again, and Barbara Snape was standing on an upstairs veranda watching the smoke of the approaching Hogwarts Express rise on the horizon. Downstairs was the sound of banging and scurrying as Alice and Howard gathered their final things together. They were the first two students who didn't have family of their own and would be invited to join the Snape household during their school breaks until they graduated. Alice would be starting her third year tomorrow and Howard his sixth.

Severus came up behind his wife and put his arms around her. His hands came to rest where her pregnancy was becoming quite noticable. Kissing her neck, he said, "Just got an owl from Ministry. Lestrange has been given life in prison. If he ever causes a single bit of trouble, it's the kiss, though.

Runcorn's claims of being_ imperiused_ have again gotten him out of Azkaban, but since he is apparently so susceptible to such curses, he's been permanently placed in the ward for the criminally insane at St. Mungo's"

She turned and smiled. "Kingsley came through. I don't think he'll regret it."

"Are you ready to move back into the castle for the term?"

"Yes. From the sound of it, Alice and Howard are pretty much ready, too. I need to get down pretty soon. I'm supposed to help with the first years after Hagrid scares them half to death in those boats."

"Are you sure you will be able to teach potions? We could make arrangements..."

"You've watched me make potions all summer. It was a passing thing." He kissed her neck again. "Severus... We're going to have to postpone that until later tonight."

"We'd better get going then."

After herding the children onto the path toward the school gates, they followed at a slightly slower pace, Severus pulling Barbara's hand through his arm in a now accustomed position.

_A/N: This completes a year of trying to get things back to normal. As some have noticed, there are quite a few loose ends. I think there will have to be another story to pick those up._

_Thank you to my kind reviewers, especially debjunk and Mark Darcy!_


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